


The Nothlit Cure: Aftran's Story

by Anifan1



Series: Nothlit Cure Series [2]
Category: Animorphs (TV), Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Controllers, Gen, Humans, Infestation, Nothlits, Voluntary Controllers, Yeerk Empire, Yeerk-Human Relations, Yeerks, yeerk peace movement
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:06:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17027505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anifan1/pseuds/Anifan1
Summary: Twenty-five years after the end of the war, Aftran learns about the cure for nothlits from a familiar source.  But is she ready for what it holds for her?





	1. Chapter 1

Aftran Nine-Four-Two had not heard thought speech in, she was certain, decades. Not since the war.

Granted, she had no way of keeping track of time internally, as did the Andalites, the ones who spoke this way. Moreover, for awhile, she hardly cared. Her life was one spent in the ocean. Not limited to any one body of water, she had traveled frequently. Simply because she could. Her body was massive and powerful. Not that she was dangerous, except, perhaps, to the small fish that made up her diet. No doubt, had they the sentience of other creatures she had known, they would see Aftran and other whales as vicious predators.

But aside from what she had to consume in order to survive, she shed no blood. She was no killer, in self defense or otherwise.

Really, most of her life was spent catching food and swimming. After awhile, it became somewhat tedious.

She never thought that she would see her new life this way. Surely, having one's own body with sight, not having to depend on a host for this wondrous sight, was something to be amazed at. Hadn't she told Cassie that humans were living in paradise? And while she was not a human, was she not partaking in some way in this paradise? Her freedom of movement, of traveling miles in a day, of seeing the world, did not come at the expense of another sentient creature's freedom.

She still believed this.

At the same time, Aftran was lonely. Not for the first year or so, perhaps. Everything had been new then, a wonder. A marvel. She was alive, for one thing. Not blind. Not helpless. Not subject to the empire.

Really, even just being alive would have been enough for her.

Yet, as time passed, she found herself thinking about her old life. Talking, in the Yeerk language, to Illim and her other brother Yeerks in the pool. Her life between agreeing to free Karen and Cassie's rescue of her from the hands of Visser Three's host body.

Literally.

She didn't let herself wonder if she missed it. She'd known, when she'd become a nothlit, that doing so would mean being free from the Yeerk empire and the expectation of involuntary infestation. Freed from the dependence on the Kandrona rays. Free from the helplessness of her own body.

At the same time, it also meant a life isolated from everyone. Not just her fellow Yeerks, but all sentient life.

Whales, after all, could not communicate with each other the way other sentient creatures could.

And Aftran was not really a whale, in the end. She was a Yeerk, trapped in the body of a whale.

Until she heard the message, she believed that she would spend the rest of her life in this body.

It wasn't bad, really. But it was far from the life she had expected.

The message had come suddenly.

((Attention, all nothlits. A cure has been found, and it has been proven effective. Regardless of what your natural form was, you may receive your former body back, at no cost. Humans, contact Lab Hydra at 555-532-5830. All animal nothlits, visit this location and use thought speech to confirm your identity. Animals, report at the nearest coastal region and report via thought speech. This message will play three times a day for the next two years.)

Had she had a human body body, she would have started, or perhaps, blinked in surprise.

A cure? A cure for nothlits? She'd hadn't known that such a thing was possible. Once someone stayed in a morph for two hours, they were trapped. Period.

Oh, Aftran knew there were exceptions. Loopholes. Tobias had been given his power back by the Ellimist, even though he was cursed to remain in a hawk body. Cassie, of course, had escaped the caterpillar morph because of the natural morphing cycle in which caterpillars become butterflies. This, according to Ax, had reset her morphing clock, and she had been able to resume her human form.

Still, those were anomalies. With those exceptions aside, no one had been able to come back from a morph after two hours. Now, suddenly, it was possible?

No, not possible. It wouldn't be done because of some intense concentration, as though if Aftran focused with enough force on her Yeerk form, she would suddenly be able to become a Yeerk again. The message had referred to a "cure". Something that would need to be administered to her. To others.

Others. Did that mean that the war was over? That Cassie and her friends had won? That there were many others who once had the morphing power, but were now trapped in some alien form?

Was it possible that other Yeerks had been given the power to morph, just as Cassie and her friends had done with her, under the condition that they became nothlits? And now, after what must be at least several years, they would be given the cure?

Perhaps, then, the Yeerks had surrendered. Had been forced to become nothlits, and for whatever reason, this was no longer the best solution. So, they were now allowed to resume their natural form.

Or, maybe, the cure referred only to non-Yeerks trapped in morph. Perhaps, Aftran was deluding herself.

Still, it wasn't as though it would hurt to swim to that base and find out?

The most they could do would be to kill her, and as she had already escaped Kandrona starvation, surely the risk of death would be worth it. It had to be less painful than Kandrona starvation.

She swam for miles. Perhaps, thousands of miles. She hadn't attempted to stay close to the California coast, after saying goodbye to Cassie. What was the point? So, the journey back would be long. But she was a whale, after all, and a mile for them was no great feat.

She thought spoke as she neared the coast. She kept her message short, lest it become tedious in her mind.

(I am Aftran Nine-Four-Two. Friend of Cassie and the Animorphs. I heard your message, and want to learn more.)

Aftran was certain that she would need to repeat the message at least a hundred times, but after the third, she heard a response.

A vocal response. But she saw the face, as well.

"Aftran? It's me, Cassie."

Aftran would have started, had she been human. This human claiming to be Cassie was far older than the child she had once met. Not elderly, exactly, but as old as Karen's father had been. How much time had passed?

Of course, it might not be her. Aftran would have to test the human, make sure that it was really Cassie.

(What did you morph as to rescue me?) she asked.

There was no hesitation. "An osprey."

Someone could have told the human. Aftran would not let herself hope. Not yet.

(What was the first thing I said when I entered your head after you saved me?)

The response was immediate. "I knew you would come for me."

(And after that?)

Cassie-well, the human claiming to be Cassie-laughed. "That you never would have believed me if I had told you, when we first met, that you would help save Ax."

(And how did I save Ax?) Aftran pressed.

Another laugh. "I put you in his head. He needed surgery-brain surgery. I asked you to locate the Triaa gland. You did, and you walked me through the operation. It went well, but as soon as he started to come to, he freaked out, because you were in his head. You left immediately."

Either it was a very elaborate trap, or it was really Cassie. Aftran swan as close to the coast as she could.

(It's you,) she said. (It's really you.)

Cassie grinned. "So, you're going to join the millions of Yeerks who are getting the cure? Or, you just wanted to catch up after twenty-seven years?"

Twenty-seven years? No wonder Cassie looked as old as her former host's father. She had been nearly fifteen during their second meeting, placing her at around forty-two now. How much, exactly, had she missed during this time? But more importantly...

(Millions of Yeerks?) Aftran echoed. (What happened, exactly?)

"We won the war," Cassie explained, her voice grim. "About a year and a half after we rescued you. We made a deal with the Andalites and the Yeerks. No more Controllers, no more hosts. They could pick an animal or a human and become a nothlit. It would give you bodies without..."

(Without making someone else a slave,) Aftran finished, gently. (I'm amazed that the Andalites let you do it.)

A laugh. "We have Jake to thank for that. And Alloran. But...it went wrong. Well, not horribly wrong, exactly, but it didn't play out the way we wanted. It's a long story."

(I have time,) Aftran reminded her. (And if I'm going to be allowed to change back into my Yeerk form, I need to know what I can expect. Will I be living in the Yeerk Pool for the rest of my days?)

"I was hoping that I would be your host," Cassie replied, quietly. "At least, in the beginning. If...everything went well, we could decide whether or not to do it long term."

It was not the first time Cassie had made the offer. Truthfully, the idea of living inside Cassie's head sounded wonderful. Being a Yeerk again, with a voluntary host. It was what all Yeerks dreamt of. Even if the empire had told them that the willingness of a host didn't matter, it was their right as Yeerks to infest any creature that could be infested.

(Please, Cassie. Tell me everything that happened,) Aftran pressed. (I'm not saying no...I just want to know what I missed.)

"Right. Okay." Cassie sat down on the beach. "So, at first, every Yeerk was supposed to become a nothlit. That was the agreement. Except, the Peace Movement Yeerks were allowed to remain Yeerks, because there were a couple hundred of them, and their hosts really wanted to be with them."

(They did?)

"Yes. So, after some debate, the government said that was fine, since it was only a few hundred, and those Yeerks had--well, had proven that they could be trusted." Cassie shrugged. "So, they were allowed to remain Yeerks with their hosts, or get new hosts if they didn't have a host, as long as it was all voluntary and there were no cages or anything like that. But every other Yeerk needed to become a nothlit," Cassie continued. "It took months to get every Yeerk registered and morphed. Some weren't allowed, because they were war criminals, and they weren't executed, but they were confined to a different Yeerk pool."

(A different Yeerk pool?) Aftran echoed. (Sounds ominous.)

"This pool had restricted rays. The Kandrona would only shine for long enough for them to receive the bare nutrients necessary for survival. And it would be turned off for the rest of the time. No Yeerk has starved, but they're always hungry, except for the time when they're allowed to feed."

(What constitutes a war criminal?) Aftran wondered.

"Mostly severe host abuse, on multiple occasions. Murder of subordinates, if they were high ranking enough to have any. Torture. War crimes that made them too dangerous to be part of our society, even in an animal form. But we wanted to show some mercy, and not kill them."

Had Aftran been inside of a human host, and in control, she would have nodded. (That's more than fair. So, after every Yeerk was registered and allowed to morph? I suppose that they all had to become nothlits?)

"That was the plan," Cassie began, "But there were problems with Yeerks who couldn't take the power. Thousands of them. Not even 1% of the entire population, but still...They were allergic to it. So, we had thousand of Yeerks, mostly ones who had been loyal enough to the empire. At first, we put them in a separate pool, with constant access to the Kandrona, and all the technology that the Yeerks had in the Sulp Niar pool. Computers with access to programs so they could learn more. Also, they could use these computers so they could communicate with any visitors to the pool. After awhile, the same people who campaigned for the Peace Movement Yeerks to be allowed to have hosts set up another one for these Yeerks to have them." Cassie laughed, a little. "See, by the end of the war, there were thousands of humans who were voluntary Controllers. Really voluntary. They wanted to stay with their Yeerks. I guess they must have told others about the benefits of having a Yeerk in their head. So, with the addition of thousands of Yeerks who couldn't become nothlits...the government said that they could have humans as hosts, as long as it was monitored and they were really voluntary, and no one was being kept against their will. It worked out. In fact, there were way more humans who wanted to have a Yeerk than there were Yeerks available. Even when they were allowed to reproduce."

(It sounds too good to be true,) Aftran admitted. (So, I imagine that there were still more humans who wanted Yeerks than there were Yeerks available, and eventually, your government approved testing a cure to remove the nothlit condition?)

"That's part of it. A small part."

(And the rest of it, Cassie?) Aftran pressed. At the human's silence, she added, (Please. I need to know.)

Cassie shuddered. "The ones who became animals were okay. At least, as far as I know. Probably, some were hunted down and killed. But mostly, we didn't hear anything. The ones who became human, though...they had it rough. Really, really bad. Everyone knew who they were. They couldn't get jobs, not even the lowest paying ones. Some were attacked. Even killed. Things settled down, a little, for some. But for most of them? It was a horrible life."

(You couldn't have known,) Aftran told her, gently. (You thought that giving my brother Yeerks bodies would solve everything.)

Truthfully, though, Aftran was far from surprised. Allowing Yeerk nothlits to live with humans? It would have been better to send the Yeerks back to the home world. Even say that they could no longer have hosts, except Gedds. What was the human government thinking, allowing Yeerks to live alongside angry humans? Of course, there would be violence.

Aftran might have expected their sort of naive thought process from Cassie. But the others? The government who allowed this to happen? It was laughable.

Well, it was optimistic. And having won the war, perhaps the people in charge believed that the Animorphs' solution for the Yeerks came at the hands of those with experience with war, and therefore, managing a peaceful transition afterwards.

"Scientists decided to find a cure for nothlits. Probably, as a way to solve the problem. Not that they made it that explicit," Cassie added, smiling a little sardonically. "It took years, but they figured it out. It's being administered to anyone who wants it. It works."

It was official, then. She could have her body back. Another idea occurred to her.

(Does that mean that the Yeerks who receive it can still morph?) Aftran wondered.

"Yes. They have the DNA of anything they acquired beforehand. Which is usually just the human or animal DNA they acquired. But once they turn back, they can acquire new morphs. Most do, but they spend the majority of their time as a Yeerk."

(With hosts?)

Another laugh. "The demand for Yeerks is larger than ever. A lot of people still want a Yeerk. Voluntary Controllers during the war who got along with their Yeerk. New people, who never were infested, but have heard the good stories. Not the majority of Americans, but there are hundreds of millions of us. Plus, those who live in other countries, who've heard about Yeerks, and want to try it. We have Yeerk Pools waiting in three other continents. It's all voluntary, of course."

(Incredible,) was all Aftran could manage to say.

"There's just one thing..."

(Oh?)

Aftran tried not to let her disappointment show in her voice. She knew that it couldn't have been as simple as Cassie made it seem.

"The Peace Movement Yeerks were allowed to have human hosts without any problem, because they had risked their lives for the effort. Most people--the ones who mattered--saw them as being on our side. And the ones who couldn't morph were allowed to have hosts, but it was monitored closely to make sure there was no coercion or abuse. With the nothlits...Aftran, you're not included in this, because of your role in the Peace Movement. I'll make sure of that. You were willing to die for us. However, you're going to find out either way, so I want you to know from me..."

(Cassie, just tell me.)

"Before any Yeerk, any former nothlit who wasn't part of the Peace Movement when they morphed, can have a host, they have to morph human and be infested for just under two hours. They have to experience every aspect of being a Controller. Personally."

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Had Aftran's nothlit body been human, it would have been an effort for her not to raise her eyebrows at Cassie's words. Being a whale, though, her face and body gave no indication of her reaction.

Infestation. She would have to go through it, in order to regain her own form and receive a host. To inhabit Cassie again, who had told her only moments earlier that she wanted to be Aftran's host. At least, for a little while.

Yes, Cassie had said that she would protect Aftran from this stipulation. Because Peace Movement Yeerks were exempt, and hadn't Aftran been a founder of the Movement? Hadn't she been willing to give her life for the cause?

But no. It wouldn't be right to bypass this requirement. After all, all of her previous hosts had been involuntary-well, except for the Gedd she had infested as her first host. Most of the Gedds were, or at least cooperative, having been used as hosts for as long as their species had existed. The oldest Yeerks that Aftran had known told stories of the home planet, how the original relationship between Gedds and Yeerks was entirely symbiotic, how the early Yeerks often didn't even take full control of their Gedds. That, back before Seerow had come, most Yeerks didn't even desire to infest a host-or at least, not long term.

Still. Nearly all of the Hork-Bajir were involuntary, and certainly the one she had infested while she had been on Visser Three's personal guard. Karen had been involuntary. Cassie-it was hard to classify Cassie. The first time, the young human had forced Aftran inside her head, which were far from the actions of an involuntary host. But, it was clear that she did not want to be a host to Aftran long term. Not if she could help it. The second time, after she had saved Aftran from the visser, she had offered Aftran residence in her mind. Aftran had refused, stating that it would put everyone in too much danger. Cassie would have to return to the Yeerk Pool every three days. Besides, how could she fight a war against Yeerks, killing Yeerks, with a Yeerk in her head?

Aftran may have done a lot for the Peace Movement, but she had taken unwilling hosts. She should experience infestation firsthand. It was only right.

(Cassie, I don't want them to make an exception for me,) she told the now adult human woman.

Cassie sighed. "Do you want to know how it will work?"

(How infestation works? I have a general idea of that,) Aftran replied, sardonically.

Cassie managed a laugh. "There are humans with Yeerk morphs. Usually, members of our military. After you've regained your form, they will hold your body over a sample of a human DNA mix. You concentrate on it, and acquire it. Unlike regular human morphs, though, this one disappears from your bloodstream after twenty-four hours."

(Why's that?) Aftran wondered.

"There are only so many samples that they could make, and besides, the government thought that it would be too dangerous for multiple copies of the same DNA mixture to be made available to millions of Yeerks. You know how the Animorphs and I wouldn't morph sentient beings without their consent?" Cassie asked.

(Yes, of course,) Aftran recalled. (It stems from this, then?)

"Right. There's a procedure for Yeerks to obtain the DNA of humans, officially, but it can take weeks to be completed. So, we have temporary DNA for temporary infestation purposes," Cassie continued. "All of the people who gave their DNA for the morph mixes gave consent, but only under these terms."

(After I receive the DNA mix and morph, what happens?)

"A member of the military will morph Yeerk and infest you. They will be required to stay in your head for one hour and fifty minutes. They are expected to search your memories fully during that time, and take full control. They're not supposed to use mental torture-but there's no way to check this out, unless the Yeerk who's been infested wants to go through this again with another member of the military. The point, as you probably figured out, is to put the Yeerk through the experience of infestation, to have their memories examined and their bodies taken away. Like they did to their hosts," Cassie told Aftran. "It's monitored-well, to an extent. No one except the Yeerk and the member of the military can know what goes on inside their heads, but it takes place in a secured room, and there are other military members there to make sure that it doesn't go on for more than the allotted hour and fifty minutes. After that, they both demorph, and the member of the military will record what he-or she-has seen. If there's been anything that would have disqualified the Yeerk for gaining nothlit status in the beginning, like severe host torture or other war crimes, than the Yeerk has to either remain a Yeerk for the rest of their life, or become a nothlit again, but in an animal form of their choosing."

(How often has this happened since you began?)

"Out of over a thousand-none so far."

(Well, that's good, isn't it? Yeerks can experience the other side of infestation, and it will make them think twice about taking control or opening their host's memories when they haven't been given consent. It must make them more empathetic to the entire process,) Aftran speculated.

"I have no problems with the process," Cassie replied, firmly. "But I don't want you to go through it."

Aftran let out a thought speech sigh. (I can handle it.)

"You shouldn't have to," Cassie insisted.

Another sigh. (You don't need to protect me, Cassie. If I'm going to live in your head, I should experience it for myself.)

Truth be told, though, the idea of a stranger from the United States military prowling around in her head, searching all of her memories, taking control of her body...it made her ill.

Still. It would be less than two hours. She'd controlled her involuntary hosts for far longer than that.

It was, Aftran supposed, a form of penance. Of making atonement. She should suffer some discomfort, for what she had done to others.

On the other hand...perhaps, it would be more equal, especially since Cassie wanted Aftran back in her head, if Cassie was the one who morphed Yeerk and infested Aftran.

This would bring a form of poetic justice, of fairness, to the entire process.

(Could you do it?) Aftran asked, averting her eyes away from Cassie, speaking so quietly that she wasn't sure if the human had heard her.

She heard Cassie take a deep breath.

"If you want me to. If I can get permission for it to be me." Then, Cassie laughed, a little. "The second part shouldn't be too difficult."

(No, I suppose not,) Aftran remarked, hoping that humor transferred over her words. (You are, after all, only one of the humans who saved the world from the Yeerk empire.)

Cassie managed a laugh. Aftran could tell that it was forced.

"If that's what you really want," she repeated. "I've morphed Yeerk before, but only infested one person, and only for a little while. I didn't know what I was doing then..."

(It's not too difficult, once you relax into the instincts,) Aftran reassured Cassie. (I can certainly walk you through it, once you're in my mind.)

A nod. "You're sure, Aftran?"

(I'm sure.)

During the week that followed, Aftran stayed close to the coast in her whale form. Cassie needed to receive permission, and the process of administering the injection to Aftran as a whale would be slightly more complicated than it would be had she been a human.

Only slightly, of course.

Of the Yeerks that had chosen to become nothlit animals, most stuck to land based ones. Even though humpback whales could live up to a hundred years, many Yeerks preferred to have wings. This meant that the Yeerks who had become birds were, if not already dead, certainly approaching the last stage of their life. How incredible it must have been to hear the message. To be given more years at life, and in addition to that, the promise of maybe having a voluntary host. As long as they agreed to morph human and be infested, first.

It also meant that the process of administering the injection would be fairly simple. Simply fly to one of the bases, wait in a room for a few hours, and come out as a Yeerk.

For Aftran, who depended on the water for her livelihood, the injection would have to be administered by boat. Moreover, she would have to spend the entire time trapped under a large net-a tarp, really-because once she began to shrink, it would be up to the humans to catch her and place her in a glass of freshwater.

Salt water did not kill Yeerks upon contact, but she had heard that it was painful after a few minutes of exposure.

Aftran was glad, after Cassie and the others had explained all of this to her, that they cared enough to take these precautions.

(Will you be there the entire time?) she asked Cassie, once she was settled under the tarp. Well, not settled, exactly. It was downright uncomfortable. But, it was the best way for them to go about this without causing any damage to her Yeerk form.

Aftran felt the human's hand on her body. "Yes."

She felt the needle go into her body. It was much larger than a normal human one, because they had to ensure that the medicine went into her bloodstream. The pain was sharp, but it dulled after a minute.

She waited. And waited.

It would take two hours for the antidote-as she thought of it-to begin to work. Two hours of lying on the tarp, the rough material rubbing at her body. Cassie would tell her every fifteen minutes how much time had passed. Otherwise, they remained silent with each other. There was no privacy, after all, not with the others there, and while Aftran didn't distrust them, she didn't want to say anything to the human that they would overhear and-quite possibly-repeat. Granted, Aftran could speak in thought speech, but Cassie couldn't reply in the same way, so it didn't seem entirely fair.

An hour in, one of the men emptied krill into her tarp.

"Thought you might be hungry," he said, grinning.

She was.

(Thank you,) she said, before eating.

It also helped to pass the time.

"Two hours," Cassie finally announced.

As soon as she had finished speaking, the changes began. Aftran was glad for the warning, because having only morphed once on her own before, it was a new and terrifying experience. At first, her sight vanished. Then, she felt her body shrink. She tried not to scream as the other changes occurred although, she realized later, she probably had more in common with her Yeerk body in her whale body than had she been a human or land based animal making the same change.

At last, it was over. She knew this instinctively, but she also knew because she felt herself being lifted up. Perhaps, it was Cassie doing the lifting. She hoped it was.

Fresh water enveloped her. The lack of sight should have felt familiar to Aftran, but it had been so long since she had been a Yeerk that the blindness terrified her. She reminded herself it was only temporary. Soon, she would be at the base. They would give her DNA from a human mix. She would receive eyes again. Arms. Legs. A body.

And then, Cassie would infest her for nearly two hours.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:
> 
> This chapter discusses host torture and may be upsetting to the reader.

Aftran felt her body being lifted from the water, then make contact with some liquid solution. Not water, she knew. This must be the DNA human morph. For a moment, Aftran worried about what she was supposed to do. She had forgotten Cassie's instructions. Would the solution be acquired automatically, or did she have to concentrate in order to complete the process? Moreover, how did one acquire a generic human in this manner? Should she focus on the image of a human, now, or would mere exposure to it be enough?

Thinking that it couldn't hurt to follow the instructions she had once received, Aftran focused as though she was acquiring an actual human, instead of a solution. A few seconds after she did this-or thought that she did this-her body was lifted again away from the solution.

Time to attempt to morph.

Had she been human-well, she would be, soon enough-she would have taken a deep breath. This was impossible as a Yeerk, so she merely summoned the image of a generic human in her mind and focused on becoming that.

The changes came immediately. Another mental sigh of relief--it had worked.

It was, naturally, just as terrifying as before, despite being painless. Bones growing, limbs and arms forming out of her slimy body. Sight returning.

The sight was the best part. Whales only saw in black and white, so seeing in color again would have made her gasp in awe-had her lungs finished forming.

Before long, the changes were complete. She was human.

Aftran had never been human before. Not entirely. Oh, she'd infested two humans, of course, had lived in their bodies and operated them, felt them as acutely as though she was one. Every scrape that Karen had been through, every food she had eaten, every time sleep had rendered her small body unconscious for one more night. She had experienced all of those as much as though she had been Karen.

This time, though, there was no mind underneath hers. It was not like having a broken host, because the minds of broken hosts were still present, however faintly. Their memories were still there.

Now, her borrowed body had the usual instincts, and certainly the intelligence of an average human being, but that was all. She was alone in her head.

No screaming, no protests. No attempts at fighting for control. On the other hand, no company. No other mind beside hers. 

Aftran had missed this. Yeerks had evolved to inhabit other bodies, after all. When they were not inside of their hosts, they were with other Yeerks in the pool. Conversation might have been limited due to the police state the empire had become, but there was always company available for those who wanted it.

This human mind felt so empty. Much like a broken host.

Well, not for long, Aftran reminded herself. Cassie would be there before long.

Of course, Cassie would also be taking away all freedom of movement currently available to Aftran. Then, going through her memories one by one.

Then again, hadn't Aftran had done the same to her previous hosts, without a care in the world about them personally? They were simply bodies for her to use.

Until, of course, they became more to her.

Until she met Karen, who may have been a small child, but was as real a person as any Yeerk she had ever known.

And Cassie, of course. Who had made her believe that there could be a better way. If only they both made a major sacrifice for the other.

It had occurred to Aftran, on more than one occasion during the past couple of decades, that both had managed to escape their ends of the deal.

Aftran could see again, and soon, she would have a human host.

And Cassie had escaped because of the butterfly loophole, as Aftran privately called thought of it.

Now, as the changes in her new temporary body finalized, completed, Aftran felt Cassie's arms around her. This was rather awkward, though, since Aftran became aware that she was entirely naked.

Also, that she was a female, which was especially awkward since most of the people in the room with them were male.

"Here," said one of the men, handing her a pair of medical scrubs, while averting his gaze.

She noted that his face did not look particularly red. He'd probably been through this process on numerous occasions. The Animorphs had taught themselves how to morph clothing to avoid precisely this sort of situation, but they had to be wearing clothing to start. A temporary human morph clearly did not contain clothes in their DNA setup.

"Thanks," said Aftran, taking them and putting them on, hastily. She knew that she didn't have much time to waste, not if Cassie was to morph Yeerk and put in the hour and fifty minutes. Aftran didn't want to risk becoming a nothlit again, even if there was more of the antidote ready for her.

Cassie blushed. "Sorry, Aftran. I didn't think-I was just so happy to see you."

Aftran just laughed. "Well, soon, you're going to see seeing through me."

She nodded, suddenly looking grim. "Right. Okay, you're sure this is okay?"

"Yes," Aftran managed.

Not that she could change her mind, now.

Not that she really wanted to.

This was Cassie, after all. 

Cassie began to morph, and Aftran looked away. She knew that Cassie could make morphing look somewhat visually appealing-she had that rare talent-but no one could make the transition from human to Yeerk look like anything except a scene out of a horror movie.

The change only took a few minutes. Aftran exhaled, picked up Cassie, and glanced at the clock. 2:02PM. Cassie would be in her brain until 3:52.

Answering her unasked question, the same man who gave Aftran the scrubs said, "You completed your morph at 1:57. So, you'd better hurry."

There would be five minutes left after the allotted time for her. Ten for Cassie.

She placed Cassie to her ear, and felt a brief sting of pain as Cassie began to push her away in.

Only brief. Cassie sprayed the painkiller immediately, and soon, all Aftran could feel was pushing as Cassie made her way in. Her legs felt weak, and she glanced around for a chair in the room. Not knowing how long she had before she would lose control, she races over and plopped herself down, then breathed a sigh of relief. Much better.

Almost as soon as Aftran did so, she felt herself loose control. It was slow, yet sudden. Random parts of her body ceased to belong to her. She felt sick, and wondered if Cassie would be able to take control completely before she threw up. She started to put a hand to her mouth, only to realize that this hand no longer belonged to her.

Fortunately, the other one still did. She covered her mouth with it, waiting for the nausea to pass. And then, that hand ceased to her hers, as well.

This is really happening, Aftran told herself. I'm being infested. Everything I've done to my previous hosts, it's being done to me.

This was what they went through every three days. Freedom for two hours, and then takeover by her. Slow, gradual, but complete. Until their bodies were no longer their own.

And soon, her mind would no longer be her own.

Cassie would have access to everything. She would know every single detail of Aftran's life. See how she had treated her other hosts. How she had treated Karen. Which had been gentle, by Yeerk standards, even bordering on host sympathy at times. But to Cassie? Cassie might be sympathetic, might see everything through Aftran's perspective, but she was bound to be horrified by the fact that Aftran had taken Karen by force for nearly a year.

As she was worrying about this, Aftran became aware that she had lost all control. She could not even breathe on her own. Cassie was moving her body, shifting herself in the chair. Moving her fingers-well, the fingers of the human morph she occupied-and speaking to the members of the military. Three, in all.

"I have control," she said. "What time is it?"

"2:04," the man who had provided Aftran with clothing answered. "The Yeerk nothlit has been in morph since 1:57. You will need to get out of her body at 3:54, and she'll have three minutes to demorph. Otherwise, we'll need to administer another dosage of the injection."

"Do you have any on hand?" Cassie questioned.

He nodded. "Just in case we need it."

"I could leave Aftran's head earlier," she offered. "It shouldn't take the full hour and fifty minutes to go through my host's mind?"

Aftran would have started, had she had control over her body, at the words "my host".

Instantly, she heard Cassie's response in her head.

(Just trying not to sound biased, Aftran. Don't worry.) Then, she laughed, a little self awkwardly. (Well, as much as you can manage not to.)

(Right,) Aftran replied, grimly.

She would have given anything to be able to move her face muscles, to take a deep breath. But that was not allowed, and she wouldn't ask Cassie to break more rules for her.

"-minutes is the rule," the man said. "Unless you want to make an exception for her, as she's been in the Peace Movement."

Cassie laughed a little. "I wanted to make an exception for all of this," she said, gesturing to Aftran's borrowed morph. "But she insisted. No, I'll stay the full time."

The man nodded, and Aftran felt Cassie move her eyes away from him. Take a deep breath, but whether this was for her own benefit or Aftran's or both, Aftran didn't know.

She wasn't privy to Cassie's thoughts, after all.

Of course, Cassie was privy to hers.

(Aftran, it's going to be okay,) Cassie promised, speaking gently. (I won't hurt you.)

Aftran tried to hide her thoughts that infestation was a form of hurt. Well, not always, certainly. Not with a willing host. Or, at least, not with a willing host who had been through it before, who was used to it. Still.

(I know,) Aftran replied, trying to hide her thoughts, her wishes, of being in control. If only in part.

This is what my previous hosts went through, she reminded herself.

She felt Cassie hesitate before opening her memory. No doubt, it wasn't helped by Aftran's mental tensing up.

(Just do it,) Aftran begged.

She felt Cassie's sadness. (That's what Rachel used to say.)

(I'm sorry.)

Aftran felt Cassie pull herself together, mentally. Take another few deep breaths, and then, open the flood of Aftran's memories.

Cassie had seen some of them before. Aftran had showed them to her when she had infested Cassie. As a way of evening the playing field, Aftran had thought at the time. To show her new, temporary, host her own life experiences.

To show her what it meant to be a Yeerk.

Aftran being named and given a designation. Aftran Nine-Four-Two of the Hett Simplatt Pool. Being explained about training. Told to infest the disabled Gedd, but only for fifteen minutes. They were training hosts, used to acclimate young Yeerks, such as herself, to the process of taking over the mind and body of another being.

Yes, that was exactly as they put it. It was their right, as Yeerks, to infest others. But not all Yeerks would be given hosts immediately. If Aftran was chosen to receive a host after today, this would be what she could expect.

The old mind of the Gedd. Used to being used as a body for the better part of two years. Aftran pushed this aside, eager to experience everything she could about this new host body in the fifteen minutes she was allowed.

Arms! Legs! Best of all, sight! So much stronger than the sonar images she received in the Yeerk Pool. These were called-eyes? And most hosts had them. Aftran just stood still, staring at her surroundings. They were in a Yeerk ship hovering just above the Hork-Bajir home world, she knew. Had been told. Looking back, there wasn't much of interest to see. But at the time, everything felt so glorious.

She hardly had time to flex her arms and move her legs before it was time to vacate the Gedd.

Half of the Yeerks she spoke to felt overwhelmed by the experience. The other half could not wait until they could receive a Gedd host of their own.

None said anything about the mind of the Gedd. But, then again, there had not been very much there to begin with. Gedds were barely sentient, and this one had been disabled, so lacking of even that intelligence. At least, that's what Aftran and the others had been told. Perhaps, the Gedd was simply old, and tired. Maybe, it wasn't that there wasn't much there so much as she hadn't bothered to look. Hadn't been allowed to remain long enough to search.

Looking back, seeing the memory along with Cassie, she wished that she had thought to speak to the Gedd.

The memory over, Aftran felt Cassie hesitate.

(Do you need anything, Aftran? Do you want to talk?)

Cassie's voice was so gentle. What would she think after she saw some of Aftran's later memories?

(No, Cassie. Just keep going. Please,) Aftran replied, wishing she could shut her eyes.

Wishing she could block out everything.

The next memory was of her first official host. Also a Gedd. This one was called Grashhatijou, but calling hosts by their names was frowned upon. Besides, even internally, the name was nearly impossible to pronounce. A human might have given the Gedd a nickname, but Aftran had never even heard of this before she had infested Karen.

From her lessons since her initial training, Aftran knew that Gedds were somewhat sentient, and had been used as hosts long before the vile Andalites invaded the home world. The Yeerks, back then, had a symbiotic relationship with the Gedds. They had been easy on them, as well. Because there hadn't been a need to fight the Andalites, or any other alien army, they could afford to sit back and allow the Gedds to take control-most of the time. They could guide the Gedds through their intelligence and occasional order or taking of control.

Of course, the instructors were quick to point out, things were different, now. They were using the Gedds for the empire, not for the cultivation of the Yeerk home world. Not that they should be brutal to them, but a Yeerk must make sure that the Gedd knew who was in charge. Preferably, of course, by kindness and discipline. The Yeerk should not use fear tactics or mental force (torture, Aftran now knew) without cause. A Gedd should still be controlled completely by the Yeerk, but should not fear the Yeerk unnecessarily.

This Gedd, Aftran saw as soon as she opened his memories, had been controlled by three Yeerks prior to her. None of which had been unnecessarily cruel, or kind. They had made the Gedd see his place, had made him what empire Yeerks called a Shalkat-which was a host who recognized to the extent of their ability the power their Yeerk had over them, often by means of discipline. Well, that was what the empire called it. Most humans would call it torture. Not that the treatment of this Gedd had been overly harsh. He had simply been molded into an acceptable host by the first Yeerk who had infested him, by a combination of kindness and discipline, and the others had gone forward reaping the benefits of a compliant host. The Gedd, once Aftran had him, was not exactly broken, but not resistant. And because Gedds were not very intelligent, any communication was through emotions, rather than words. He did not exactly fear Aftran, but he respected her, and he behaved.

She, meanwhile, mostly ignored him, once she found him to be an easy host.

More guilt flooded her after that memory was over. After all, she could have done more for her host than simply pretend he was not there.

(At least you didn't hurt him,) came Cassie's voice.

(I didn't help him, either,) Aftran replied. She sighed, knowing what Cassie saw would only get worse. And, of course, Cassie would hear these thoughts as well. (Keep going,) she requested.

Going from a Gedd to a Hork-Bajir was like...well, there really was no comparison. Next to her new host, the Gedd was nearly blind. Crippled, even though his body was in perfect health, thanks to the care bestowed to it by Aftran and the other Yeerks before her. Yet, her Hork-Bajir host was massive, at least three times the height of the Gedd. Or, so it seemed. Strong, too. It could stand upright. The eyes-oh, the eyes! Aftran thought that sight was a wonder when she had first been inside the disabled Gedd for training, but this was another thing entirely. The colors! The clear figures that danced in front of her. She could spend hours just looking at the pool in front of her, marveling at the different colors before her. Yet, when she managed to break her eyes away from the water, she saw clearly the host bodies of Hork-Bajir who had, in her Gedd form, looked only like large formidable beings. She glanced at her own body and saw that it was covered with blades. Blades! How very useful for fighting the vile Andalites-which was, of course, to be her new role in the war. No longer would she simply carry weapons or clean up after the battles. She would be a part of the battle. It made her dizzy with anticipation.

The one problem, the one thing that worried her in her new role, was her host's mind. Her Gedd, of course, had been compliant, even though she had certainly felt his presence in his mind. She'd known that some, more aggressive, Yeerks made it a habit to break the mind of their Gedd. To show that they could do so, to prepare for the more troublesome hosts. Breaking Gedds was not exactly encouraged, as they were still practically voluntary hosts, but being "caught" doing so would result in, at best, a warning. Moreover, there was an unconfirmed rumor that breaking a Gedd mind was a sure path to promotion. Even so, Aftran had never attempted to do so. She had never even replayed any unpleasant memories from her now former host-of which, she knew, there had been several. The most painful being the lost of his spouse's firstborn child. When she first saw that memory, she felt the Gedd's pain, and immediately closed it up. The Gedd had felt relief, even gratitude, at not needing to relive that.

So, no, Aftran hadn't broken or disciplined her Gedd host. She told herself it was not because she was overly gentle, but because there had been no need. Why waste the mental effort on something when there was no real cause?

Now, though, Aftran experienced her first-but hardly last-host who resisted her control. Het Falmot. She felt it in his screams as soon as she took over his body. The odd thing, she noted as she searched his memories, was that this creature was not a first time host. His first Yeerk-Tardel Eight-Seven-Six-had simply ignored him, and his fights for control. She could see, through reading into Het's memories, that Tardel saw his outbursts as a mere nuisance. He verbally reprimanded Het when he fought for control-always losing-but did nothing beyond that.

And so, Het had fought Aftran for control, daily. Not that he ever succeeded in grabbing control from her, but it was still a nuisance. She knew that she needed to discipline her host, so after the third time he tried to grab control (and, it must be said, very nearly succeeded, as her thoughts had been occupied by the ongoing battle), she immediately responded by replaying his worst memory-his initial infestation and the fear of being taken over by a Yeerk-but this only resulted in howls of agony, and the Hork-Bajir did not understand cause and effect. That if he would simply be silent and not fight Aftran for control, she would not need to replay his worse memory afterwards.

After a week of this, and an unending headache from her host's yowling, she spoke to her immediate superior. Sub-Visser Seventy-Five.

"Sub-Visser, my host body will not stop fighting me for control, and he will not stop screaming at me in his head," she complained, once the necessary pleasantries were out of the way.

She did not add that she feared that this would make her unable to do her job, because that would show weakness, and besides, her host would hear it. He might get the wrong idea-that he was succeeding, if not in the way he had expected.

"You must punish him if he resists you, Aftran Nine-Four-Two," the sub-visser replied in a bored manner. Gesturing to her host body, she said, "Mine fought in the beginning, at well. He is perfectly silent now. A Shalkat. If necessary, you must break him."

"How do I break him? I already play his worst memory whenever he attempts to take control. He is too stupid to understand why I do it," Aftran explained.

"You must not stop after playing it after the first time," the sub-visser explained, as though speaking to a child. "These creatures are stupid, and cannot be taught to obey. You must break your host if you wish to have any peace in your borrowed head."

He laughed, then, as though he thought he had made a very funny joke.

Aftran's insides seized a little at this. Killing Andalites in battle was one thing, but breaking her own host? But she would not be accused of host sympathy and be sentenced to death by Kandrona starvation.

"How long should I replay his worst memory?" she asked her sub-visser.

"Start with an hour. It may get tedious for you, and he will not break overnight. Additionally, Aftran Nine-Four-Two, do not simply replay his worst memory. Play all of his bad ones. This helps with the monotony, and lets him see-in his own limited way-the power you have over his mind as well as his body. Your host can fight you for control, but he can not fight you from using his mind as you wish. He can only scream. And that will stop over time." He smiled, rather cruelly. "Give it time, and he will become silent."

Aftran thanked the sub-visser for his advice, and took it to heart. Because, she told herself, she had no other choice.

It only took two weeks for her host to go silent. Well, not entirely silent. Whenever she opened his memory after that, to locate some piece of information, she heard Het whimper. It appeared that he now associated any use of his memory by Aftran as an assault on him. He had given up entirely. He was, as the sub-visser had called it, a Shalkat. A host who knew his place.

It had been what Aftran had wanted. Or, so she thought. A quiet, compliant host body. Just like her old Gedd. But while the Gedd had simply been obedient in his mind, Het had been broken.

She had done that.

As soon as she could, Aftran volunteered for an assignment outside of his body.

Which led her, of course, to Karen.


	4. Chapter 4

Not for the first time, Aftran wished she had control of her morphed body. Not that it mattered, practically speaking, as Cassie's emotions seemed to mirror her own. She could feel her throat felt tighten, and Cassie was taking deep breaths as she fought back tears. Based on the dryness of her face, Cassie's attempts at self control were successful.

(Cassie?) she asked, after waiting a few minutes. She could hear how quiet her voice sounded, how uncertain.

Cassie didn't respond to her, or at least, not in words. She could feel Cassie's anger at her, and worse, her complete disappointment in her. Her...disgust.

Aftran knew that she deserved it.

Still, after another full minute of sitting inside her head, watching as Cassie fixed her eyes on the wall in front of them, Aftran had expected the memories of Karen to start. Unless, perhaps, Cassie had changed her mind? Had decided not to go further with this, and send Aftran off to someone else?

She could, Aftran knew. Cassie would be well within her rights to do so. Moreover, Aftran imagined that this would make Cassie think long and hard about whether or not she wanted to be a host to Aftran, after all of this.

Which she had already suspected. But, she hadn't been willing to hide anything from Cassie, just to make life easier on both of them.

This lack of communication from her...especially her as a Yeerk...was certainly unsettling.

It reminded her of all the times she had not communicated with her previous hosts.

(Cassie?) she tried again. (Please. Say something.)

She felt Cassie attempt to close herself off to her. A difficult task even for a Yeerk used to infestation, but for someone with as little experience as Cassie...

(I need a minute,) Cassie answered. Not harshly, but not kindly, either.

Aftran gave a mental nod and refrained from addressing any more thoughts towards Cassie.

Cassie could, after all, hear all her thoughts without Aftran directing them towards her, anyway.

Cassie looked up at the same man who had given Aftran the clothes. Aftran wondered what his name was.

"Bill? What time is it?" she asked.

He glanced at his watch. "2:20," he said. Then nodded at the clock on the wall. "I hear that works," he added, smiling.

Cassie managed a laugh. "Right."

Aftran was disappointed to discover that not much time had passed, and she suspected she was not the only one with that reaction.

They were nearing the midpoint of her memories, to her recollection. Would Cassie go back and play them again once she was finished?

(Aftran. Let's...take a break from the memories,) Cassie said, taking a deep breath. (I need to...)

She didn't finish.

(To process what you just saw?) Aftran asked, her voice quiet. Hardly more than a whisper.

Cassie nodded, visibly, and took several deep breaths. It was clear that she was attempting to remain calm.

Waves of guilt filled Aftran. She hadn't quite blocked out the memory of what she had done to Het, but she certainly had tried not to dwell on it since she had-well, since she had broken him. It was true that how she'd treated Het had been entirely in line with her training as a Yeerk soldier, but even back then, she had felt ashamed about doing so. Even worse about the outcome.

Even if she wouldn't admit to herself-then-that it was torture.

(It is,) Cassie told now her, firmly. (You broke a defenseless Hork-Bajir. He was already a slave in his body, Aftran. His only crime, as your people would call it, was screaming at you and fighting for control. How did you think he was going to react? He was a prisoner in his own body. He was completely helpless. You couldn't even let him have-that.)

Aftran sighed inwardly-because it was the only way she could do so. Cassie's control over her body was absolute. Not that she would want Cassie to release any to her. Not now, especially.

She could have shouted at Cassie, tried to justify herself. Say that she had only been doing what she had been told to do, that she couldn't have her host fighting her for control and screaming at her while she was in battle, or guarding Visser Three. It might all be true, but she recognized now that they were only excuses.

Even if she hadn't the insight to be kind to Het, which would have gotten her the result she wanted-most likely-she could have ignored her sub-visser. Or, at the very least, limited herself to what she had been doing before.

Not that she had been treating him much more kindly before torturing him with the intent of silencing him.

Breaking him.

(I know,) she said now, quietly, wishing she could look away. (I know, Cassie,) she repeated, almost in a whimper.

Cassie's emotions, as far as Aftran could tell, were conflicted. Disgust, partly at Aftran, but mainly at the empire. There was a small amount of pity, but Aftran imagined that that was directed more towards Het than at her. Most surprising, though, was a small, yet distinct, sense of wonder. Even a little respect.

(Yeah. I respect you,) Cassie told Aftran, her own voice quiet. (Now, anyway. Not for who you were back then, Aftran.)

(But...why?) she asked, perplexed.

(Well, you did make the choice to let see all of this,) Cassie told her. (When you could have invoked your...status in the Peace Movement as a reason to keep me out of her mind.)

(I didn't want to do that. You know, especially now, that I don't deserve any special treatment. Any exemptions.)

Cassie laughed. (You did almost die for us, back then. So...you changed. Even back then. I mean, that was the only time, right? You didn't hurt Karen like that?)

(Not like that,) Aftran allowed. (I hurt her in other ways. Not intentionally...I mean...I took away her freedom by infesting her, and I could have been much more gentle with her. But I never tortured her,) Aftran affirmed.

Before realizing that Cassie could see everything she was thinking.

Because, for the next hour and a half, Aftran remained a host body and Cassie her Yeerk.

Aftran felt Cassie shook her head. (Like I said. You changed. I trust you not to hurt me. I trusted you before, of course...)

(I shouldn't have had to make offers suffer before I learned...not to,) Aftran admitted.

(No,) Cassie agreed.

After all, no matter who she tried to blame for her actions, it had been she who had made the ultimate decision. Every time she disciplined-no, tortured-Het, well, that had been her choice. Nor could she entirely blame it on her sub-visser. She'd known, even back then, that for all the teaching about hosts as mere bodies and the necessity to control them, Yeerks always had the upper hand. Even the lowest ranking Yeerk could control their host, most of the time, with hardly any effort on their part. It had been how their bodies had evolved.

Therefore, failure to discipline an unruly host was far from a capital offense. She could have ignored the sub-visser's advice. Why, she could have even limited the abuse to "only" an hour, once. Instead, Aftran had gone through with the order and broken her host. And, instead of trying to repair the damage she had caused, she volunteered to infest a small human as a way to escape the results of what she had done.

In the end, Aftran had realized that she would have preferred the fighting and the screaming to the silence she had caused.

Cassie, of course, heard all of these thoughts.

(You wouldn't do it now,) Cassie said, and Aftran was aware of her crossing her arms in front of her chest.

It wasn't a question, exactly, but it wasn't definitive enough to be a statement.

Had Aftran been the Yeerk and Cassie the host, she would have been able to tell exactly what Cassie meant. She could only guess at it.

But, she knew the human's mind well enough to be fairly sure at the meaning. Cassie was afraid of what else she would see in Aftran's mind, especially regarding Karen, but she was also slightly more hesitant about allowing Aftran into her own head.

(I would never that to you, Cassie,) Aftran promised. (I would die, first.)

Cassie managed a laugh. (Well, the empire's long gone, so I don't think there's anyone out there who would kill you for that.)

(Thank the Kandrona for that,) Aftran replied, meaning it.

(The Animorphs,) Cassie corrected, gently.

(Yes,) Aftran amended, sincerely.

There was a pause before Cassie spoke again. (If it hadn't been me. If Bill or someone else had infested you and seen this...)

Aftran gave a mental shrug, wishing she could close her eyes. Or, look at the floor. Cassie did neither. (I don't have numbers of that, Cassie. I don't imagine that anyone really does, except for those who did it. What I know is that host torture, or host discipline, was extremely common during the war. Maybe not to the extent of breaking hosts, but certainly as a way of punishing bad behavior. I even knew a few Yeerks who had voluntary hosts-humans-and they would tell them from the beginning what they could expect if they got any ideas of rebelling. As you saw from my memories, some Yeerks even did it on Gedds, and most of them were voluntary hosts. If somewhat apprehensive, at first,) she amended. (I'm not justifying myself, Cassie, and I'm not making excuses. To answer your question, though...they probably would have encountered this before. More often than not. It was...)

Aftran stopped speaking, at least to Cassie. But Cassie could hear what went unsaid, and she gave a voice to it.

(The culture. The empire. You were all soldiers, fighting a common enemy. You couldn't afford a host rebellion, and you certainly didn't enjoy the screams. So, they taught you how to make them go away. The minds of the hosts you were taking,) Cassie clarified. (And most of you just listened. Obeyed orders. Because even if you thought they had some intelligence, they were nothing compared to Yeerks and Andalites. They were just bodies. Just-just meat, like you once told me?)

Aftran gave a mental, wordless nod.

(Some of us, when we infested humans, realized that the empire's ways were wrong,) Aftran told her. (I suppose that while we can justify taking, and mistreating, creatures who can barely think for themselves...but humans. We can claim otherwise, but any Yeerk knows, deep down, that they're as intelligent as we were.)

She gave a mental shudder, as though expecting the empire to hear her words. But, of course, the empire was long gone. And besides, her words were true.

(It's a lot for me to process, Aftran,) Cassie admitted. (I'd assumed that your hosts were involuntary...I guess I just made myself believe that you wouldn't hurt them. Even with Karen-I knew that she felt sorry for you. Even if she wanted to be free.)

(What I did to them remains a part of me,) Aftran told her, meaning every word, and knowing that Cassie could feel that she meant it. (I cannot take it back, even though I wish I could. I can't even tell Het how sorry I am, because even if he died of old age, in all likelihood, it was before you destroyed the empire. Besides, it's more likely that he died as a slave, in battle. Broken.)

Cassie gave a mental nod. (At least...you learned from it,) she told Aftran. (You didn't torture Karen. And yeah, it's not like we can change the past,) Cassie allowed. (Well, not without the Time Matrix, and that opens up a whole new set of problems.)

Aftran should have been content with Cassie's words, but she found herself wanting something else from her. Comfort, even though she didn't deserve it. But at soon as the thought entered her mind, she found herself enveloped in what could only be described as a "mental hug" from Cassie. It was, she knew, as strong and warm as a physical hug. It filled her entire mind, her being, with happiness. Perhaps, what Cassie was doing was releasing endorphines through her morphed body. Whatever the scientific explanation, it was working. It felt almost like going from standing in snowstorm to being immersed into a large bathtub, filled with hot water. Like being held while wrapped in a warm blanket.

She felt...safe. Accepted.

Forgiven.

(Ohhh,) Aftran murmured, savoring it all. (Thank you.)

She reciprocated the feeling as well as she knew, and felt her own warmth fall onto Cassie. The human made a sound of happiness, and the two just remained like that for awhile, comforting and loving each other.

Aftran could have basked in this for ages, but she knew that Cassie had to examine the rest of her memories, and besides, she probably shouldn't have given Aftran that hug. Cassie was there to be Aftran's Yeerk, to give Aftran a taste of what she had put her three other hosts through. It would not be right for them to take up any more of this time with this.

(You're probably right,) Cassie said, breaking apart from her host's mind with a sigh. (But when I'm your host, Aftran, I hope I'll get getting mental hugs from you.)

(Definitely. Regularly,) Aftran promised, rejoicing inwardly that Cassie hadn't rejected the notion of becoming Aftran's host, when it was all over.

Well, not yet.

Cassie glanced at the clock again. Only five minutes had passed.

(Onto Karen, then?) she asked Aftran. (Unless there's another host in between?)

(No, she's next,) Aftran confirmed, mentally preparing herself. (All right. I'm ready...)

Karen Armstrong was a six year old girl whose father owned a very successful bank. For reasons unknown to Aftran, her host's father had been unable to be taken, either by The Sharing or by force. As Karen had been too young to become a member of The Sharing without either of her parents being members, she would need to be taken by force.

Aftran had learned the plan beforehand, so that she would not be caught off guard if the human child asked her questions later. She had not objected, because this being her first human, how was she to know the procedure for taking a human child to be infested?

It had happened after school. Her next door neighbor, Mrs. Walker, had been told to pick Karen up from school instead of her mother. Since her mother was supposed to pick her up, though, Mrs. Walker would arrive a half an hour early with a message about her mother having had an accident. She was in the hospital, and while she was fine, she wanted to see Karen. Because Mrs. Walker was Karen's next door neighbor, Karen knew her well. There would be no question of not leaving school with a stranger, since Mrs. Walker was far from a stranger. Moreover, Karen's teacher knew Mrs. Walker, because Mrs. Walker had a son in the high school, and had, on occasion, picked Karen up instead of her mother. Nothing would be out of the ordinary. So, of course, Karen had been allowed to leave school early with her neighbor, to go to the hospital to see her mother.

Instead, as the plan went, Karen would been taken to the Yeerk Pool, where she was handed off to two Hork-Bajir guards, and promptly infested with Aftran.

As far as Aftran could tell, everything went smoothly. Of course, Karen had screamed, loudly, and had tried to break free of the guards. But if a grown man was no match for them, a six year old girl was even less so.

Aftran's first memory was it being rather difficult to get into the girl's head. Not because of movement from the girl-the guards held her head down with sufficient force-but because her head was small, and her ears were far smaller than a Hork-Bajir's or even a Gedd's.

They had warned her about this beforehand.

"Human bodies have excellent senses, but their ears are very small. It will be a tight fit, especially a human child, and you will need to release extra painkiller so you don't cause any permanent damage to her ears or to the organs in her brain," her now direct superior, Sub-Visser Nineteen, had told her, when Aftran still controlled a now silent Het.

Aftran had taken this advice to heart, and Karen had felt very little in the way of physical pain. Only the initial sting that couldn't be helped, before the medicine had begun to work. This couldn't be avoided with thrashing involuntary hosts, and besides, her instruction had told her that a small amount of pain had no lasting consequences on the human's ear drums.

Karen had cried, first at the Yeerk Pool, and then mentally, as Aftran took over her body and her voice ceased to be hers.

As soon as she had connected with the human child's mind, she was aware of the crying. The bewilderment. The fear. No, the terror. Because the child had never had as much as a nightmare in which she couldn't make herself wake up from-a common enough thing for humans to experience, she learned later-let alone think that an alien life form could take over her body.

This was not a host who had known about the Yeerk invasion beforehand, nor had grown up with Yeerks.

Aftran felt some sympathy for the girl, as much as she tried to hide it. She immediately resolved to treat this child as she would a first time Gedd host.

She waited until she was certain that she had full control before speaking to the human child.

(Hello, Karen,) she said, as gently as she knew how. (My name is Aftran Nine-Four-Two. I am a Yeerk.)

The cries stopped as the human child attempted to process this information.

(What is a Yeerk?) Then, before Aftran could answer, (What is an Aftran?)

(A Yeerk is an alien,) Aftran replied, keeping her tone kind. (Aftran is my name. Your name is Karen?)

(Yes,) replied the child. Then, (Aftran.)

Aftran straightened herself up, with help from the guards. She felt Karen's terror as she saw them.

(Aftran, don't let them get me!) she screamed.

(They won't "get you", Karen,) Aftran answered, struggling, a little, to keep her voice gentle. (I promise.)

(Okay,) replied Karen, her voice back to normal.

(Now,) Aftran continued, (We are going back to your home with Mrs. Walker.)

(What about my mommy?) Karen asked, trying to move, but failing. She tried harder, but to no avail. Aftran was relieved to find, despite Karen's struggling, that it was not the slightest challenge to keep her hold on her. (Aftran, I can't move!) she wailed.

Aftran tried to keep her voice calm as she spoke. (Karen, you don't need to worry. Your mommy, as you call her, is at home, waiting for you.)

(She's not at the hospital?) Aftran demanded. (They said she was at the hospital!)

(Karen!) Aftran raised her voice, and felt her host stiffen, mentally. After a moment, she continued. (No, Karen. Your mommy did not have an accident and is not at the hospital. Mrs. Walker told you and your teacher this so that you would be taken here. So that I could meet you,) she added. The last part sounded false in her head, or at least, not entirely true, but then, Aftran was speaking to a human child.

Karen took a minute to digest this. (My mommy is okay?)

(Yes.)

Aftran could feel relief flood through her host, only to be replaced by dread as she tried-yet again-to make her feet move without success. (Aftran, why can't I move?) she whimpered.

(You cannot move because I am moving for you,) Aftran told her, quickly. (You will not be able to move again for another three days, when I will leave your body for a few hours. But, I will be back, and I will continue to move for you. I will also continue to speak for you. I will-)

(NO!) screamed Karen, interrupting Aftran's explanation. (GET OUT! GET OUT! I want to move! I want to speak! GET OUT!)

Aftran was torn. She could discipline Karen, although in a much gentler way than she had with Het. Or, she could-what, exactly? The girl was too young to be reasoned with. She understood things, but only in a very limited way. Perhaps...

(Karen, that is not very nice behavior,) Aftran scolded. (Stop yelling at me. Now.)

Aftran's tone must have resembled her mother's, or perhaps her father's, when they were angry. Because, she went silent immediately.

(I'm sorry,) she said.

(That's all right,) Aftran said, more gently. But, she had to make her point clear. (Now, I want you listen to me very carefully. You are NOT to yell at me like that, or I will be very angry at you. If you want to ask me questions, I will answer them, but you may not raise your voice at me. Do you understand?)

Karen began to cry-mentally, of course. (I--I just want my body back!)

Aftran sighed, then resolved to be firm with the girl. She could do that without causing any permanent damage, after all. It would be better for Karen to be afraid of Aftran for what she was and what she might be able to do than for anything she actually did.

(I already told you, Karen. When I am in your head, I am in charge of your body.) Before Karen could say anything else, Aftran quickly added, (You will have it for a couple of hours, every few days. But, for the rest of the time, it is mine.)

Karen's cries continued for the rest of the afternoon, but at least they weren't screams, and at least she didn't fight Aftran for control. Aftran thought that this was a good enough compromise.

Besides, she couldn't focus all of her attention on the human mind in the body. Nor could she revel in the senses that her new body brought her. She tapped into Karen's memory-eliciting more cries and pleas for Aftran to stop-for any information that was strictly necessary. She knew that she should do a full search, but that would have to wait until after her host was asleep. Perhaps it was indulgent on Aftran's part, but since a small search elicited more cries than usual, she didn't want to think about how her new host would react to a complete search.

Aftran knew that she could silence Karen, but the memory of a silent Het was still present in her mind, and Karen was far more intelligent than her Hork-Bajir host. No, Aftran could put up with crying, at least for now. Besides, Karen had stopped trying to get control.

During the weeks and months that followed, Karen became more quiet on her own. To Aftran's surprise, she realized that she did not have to break her host in order to gain some peace and quiet-Karen soon lost hope that anything would change. On occasion, she asked her Yeerk questions, and Aftran always provided truthful answers. Karen looked forward to the times when Aftran fed, but not being in the cages for those two hours. The first several times, she attempted to escape, resulting in cuts from the Hork-Bajir guards. Aftran had yelled at them for this, later.

"You fools!" she had thundered, aware at how silly she must sound, using Karen's small voice. "Do you see what you have done to my host?"

"It's only scrapes, Aftran Nine-Four-Two," one of them replied.

"My host's mother and father are not one of us. How do you think they will react when they see these marks? It could hurt my cover!" she'd retorted.

After a few half-hearted apologies, Aftran turned around, ignoring the guards, and decided to concoct a story about falling down on the playground. Children, Aftran knew from her host's memories, were often injuring themselves that way. Still, it had been foolhardy for the guards to injure her host!

Afterwards, the guards had been more gentle towards Karen. Moreover, because she was young, often the other people in the cages were kind to her. Most of the humans, Aftran observed, either spent the time screaming, crying, or sitting there with blank looks. They obsessed on what they believed they had lost, not realizing they were still alive and being cared for. They may only be bodies for the Yeerks, but unlike human farmers, they would not be killed and consumed for food.

When Aftran returned from feeding, she would search her host's memories of the time. With, over time, lessening degrees of protestation. It was usually the same. Being held by a woman or older girl. Occasionally, playing some kind of game with a fellow child who was a host to the Yeerks. Karen returned in a better mood-until, of course, it registered that the two hours of relative freedom were gone and her "yucky, body snatching alien" was back for another three days.

In the beginning, Karen would cry and tell Aftran to go away. That she hated her. HATED HER. Aftran did not bother to discipline or silence her. The human child eventually got tired and would take the mental equivalent of a "nap". When she woke up, she would be uncertain of where she was, until Aftran told her. Still tired, Karen would be silent for awhile, sometimes until it was time for her actual bedtime.

Aftran, meanwhile, played the part of the human child to perfection. No one suspected anything. When it came time for her to feed, Mrs. Walker would take her. Often, after school had finished, or before it began. If she was late, her teacher did not notice-because she, too, was a Controller.

At some point, Karen attempted to befriend Aftran. Aftran, of course, rebuffed her host's attempts. Perhaps, had Karen been voluntary from the beginning, some sort of agreement could have been reached. But it was too late, now.

Still. It was around this time that Karen stopped hating Aftran, and began to feel sorry for her.

(I know what you are when you're not in my head,) she told her one day.

(And what is that?)

(A slug. A slimy slug,) Karen had replied, matter of factly.

Aftran hadn't answered her.

And then, weeks after this exchange that still haunted Aftran, Estril was killed in battle. So, Aftran went to find his killer. Which led to meeting Cassie.


	5. Chapter 5

Aftran felt Cassie hesitate here, before opening the memory sequence-as some Yeerks had once called it-in which Cassie and Aftran met for the first time.

(Cassie?) Aftran asked, after a long silence from her Yeerk. Well, morphed Yeerk. (Is something wrong?)

Cassie sighed. (To be honest, Aftran, I'd rather skip over this part. But we can't because-) Here, she gave a mental nod to the guards. (Not that they would find out, necessarily, but, well, it's the spirit of the thing, right?) She managed a little laugh.

Cassie's remarks did nothing to assuage Aftran's confusion. (I don't understand. What part would you rather not experience through my eyes?)

(All of it,) Cassie admitted. Then, she clarified, speaking softly, (But mostly, placing my friends and family at risk...when I made you infest me.)

Aftran managed a laugh, as a means to diffuse the situation. (I remember that vividly. You weren't overly afraid at the time. If anything, I was more concerned that it was a trap. While I may have had some sort of refuge in you as a host, your fellow friend and warrior was more than ready to kill me.)

(Yeah.) Cassie sighed. (At the time, I didn't think you'd take off, even though you had to. Nor did it occur to me, in that moment, that I was giving you access to my morphing powers.)

(What did you hope would happen?)

Aftran hasn't paid much attention, at the time, to Cassie's immediate motives. Her first goal had been to enter her new host without harming herself. Before the other human boy could stop her. Kill her. Then, the instinct to take control and access her host's memory had taken over. She remembered Cassie's emotions, at least a little. Fear had been the dominant one. Later, regret. But Aftran hadn't bothered to search Cassie's memory to the extent of finding out why she had behaved, at that moment, as she had.

Cassie spoke slowly. (I guess...I figured that without you in Karen, we could speak directly to her. See if there was something we were missing. You know-you knew back then-that I did not want to kill Karen, but I also didn't want to kill you.)

By Kandrona starvation. Because all they would have needed to do was keep Karen captive for another day or so. A crippled child without any weapons would have no way to escape. And, Aftran knew, they had done it before.

(Exactly,) Cassie confirmed Aftran's unspoken sentence. (I saw Jake go through that, with Tom's first Yeerk. Jake later told me that he hadn't felt any pain-only experienced what the Yeerk had gone through. But, somewhere inside me, I guess I thought that would have been too much for Karen to handle.)

(It might have been,) Aftran admitted. (Even if she didn't feel anything.)

(I didn't want to kill you. You saw that, in my memories. It was the driving reason behind my letting you in my head.)

(Yes.) After all of these years, Aftran remembered this, vividly.

(And, when I saw her, a few weeks later, Karen confirmed that you had freed her,) Cassie recalled.

(I remember. You let me see that when you let me in your head again. Months later.) Aftran smiled mentally at Cassie.

(Looking back,) Cassie admitted, (I never completely understood that. Not that I doubted that Karen was speaking for herself, or that she was free. Just, how she remained free.)

(Ah,) Aftran said, rather mischievously. (Well, Cassie, in order for you to understand that, you will have to go through my memories.)

Cassie laughed a little at that. (I could just skip on ahead.)

(You could,) Aftran allowed, with a mental grin, (but...I'd rather you didn't, Cassie. Even if it's more difficult for me. I wasn't very...back then, I had a lot of what humans call "growing up" to do. In all fairness, though, I was only six years old in human years when I infested Karen. Yeerks begin training at age one, and if they're assigned their first official host, it's generally before age two. I was about a year and a half-in human years, of course-when I received my first Gedd.)

She felt Cassie's interest pique at this. (You two were the same age?)

Aftran gave a mental shrug. (We mature earlier, usually by age one. At least, physically. But yes, technically speaking, we were the same age.)

(Hmm.)

Cassie, Aftran could tell, would be content to think on this for awhile longer, and Aftran had to give her Yeerk a mental nudge.

(Cassie...)

(Oh, all right,) the human laughed.

The Andalite who had murdered her brother by use of one of those fiendish Earth creatures had to be around there, but all Aftran saw was a black female child. No, not really a child. The human was at least twice the age as her current host, based on her experience living in Karen.

(Where are you going, Aftran?) Karen asked, peaking out from the mental corner of her mind.

It had been six months since her initial infestation. Aftran had tried to be as kind to her child host as she could during this time. Not that she could do much in the way that humans would view kindness. Not without being considered a traitor. But Aftran vowed not to be intentionally cruel to her child host.

This was, she knew, the Yeerk equivalent of kindness.

Aftran knew that some Yeerks probed their host's every thought, at least, the ones who had involuntary hosts. Always waiting for resistance to stamp out. The few Aftran knew with voluntary hosts-who were not Taxxons-could afford to, if not ignore their hosts, at least not take the types of precautions that those with highly resistant hosts took. Some, she heard, even granted their hosts periods of control outside of the Yeerk Pool.

She, of course, couldn't afford to do that. Karen was far from voluntary. But she avoided searching her host's memory when it wasn't entirely necessary. Perhaps, it was an indication of Aftran's remorse over breaking Het that she allowed Karen this measure of privacy. Not in the sense that her host could hide her thoughts from her, but Aftran could let Karen think what she wanted without making her presence felt.

Besides, after several months of Aftran's control, Karen's thoughts entered into the same sort of pattern. Missing direct interaction with her family, of course. Wanting to be free, while still feeling despair, because she felt that she would never be free. Yet, Aftran knew her host felt a small measure of pity for the poor slug in her brain-as she now thought of with regards to Aftran. Some anger at Aftran for keeping her a prisoner in her mind. And, in spite of everything, a small level of hope that it would not always be this way. That she would be free beyond the cages of the Yeerk Pool.

(Aftran, where are we going?) the human child asked, as she realized that Karen had separated herself from the rest of her Yeerk command group, while not heading home to her parents.

(I am going to find the Andalite who murdered my brother, and then kill him,) Aftran replied, even though she was under no obligation to give Karen an answer.

Karen gave no verbal answer to this, since she must have sensed that there was nothing she could see to get her Yeerk to change her mind, or did she have any hope of fighting back.

Still. Aftran felt her worry, and didn't attempt to reassure her.

Finding Cassie, or the "Andalite bandit" proved to be easy. Except, she ended up nearly losing her life in the process. To her relief and annoyance, Cassie saved her life. Then, out of some misguided sense of obligation mixed with honor, she saved Cassie's.

Despite telling Cassie that they owed each other nothing, Aftran knew this wasn't entirely true. After all, they were now lost in the woods, and Aftran had to rely on Cassie's expertise. No doubt, the Andalite bandits had been hiding out around here.

Cassie, to Aftran's annoyance, kept attempting to befriend Aftran. Pretending not to know about Andalites or Yeerks, and even offering her mushrooms, which Aftran refused. Not, as she claimed, because they were gross, but because she didn't want to be in the human's debt. Better to suffer hunger.

When they slept, Aftran briefly considered infesting Cassie by force. But, ultimately, she decided it wasn't worth the risk. The human could be a light sleeper, and as soon as Aftran had disconnected from Karen's brain, her old host could drag her out of Cassie and kill her. Or, scream and wake the girl up, which would have the same result. She knew Yeerks who had practiced entering and leaving their hosts to the extent that they could control which parts of the body they controlled last. She had never bothered to learn this. Not that she regretted it now. The plan would be too risky. Better to find a way to get back to her fellow Yeerks, and then give the information about Cassie to Sub-Visser Nineteen. The higher ups would receive the information about her fellow warriors from her brain, and Aftran would be well rewarded.

(Thanks a lot,) came Cassie's voice, a mixture of annoyance and amusement. (Although, for the record, I'm a moderate to heavy sleeper on most nights. You probably could have infested me without much effort. As long as your host didn't grab me in time.)

(It was still too risky a gamble to take, Cassie,) Aftran replied, sending her an image of a smiling slug.

Cassie gave a mental shudder at that. (That image is horrifying, Aftran. Please, do me a favor and promise never to show me that again. It will give me nightmares for weeks.)

Aftran was pretty sure that Cassie was kidding, but they both knew there was some truth behind the words. Aftran could, after all, send Cassie into nightmares with a combination of what they had both seen. She had the capacity to break any host simply with her own memories. The host, by himself or herself, did not need to have any hidden trauma in their life in order to be broken.

But, wasn't that part of the point of today? To show Aftran what it meant to be powerless as a host? If so, it was working. Maybe it had only been a half an hour or so, but being kept prisoner in her own borrowed body, unable to do anything on her own, and Cassie going through her entire life history...it made her very aware of how little she could do.

Even if the infestation and memory reel would end in an hour and a half for Aftran, it hadn't for so many other hosts. Neither, she knew, had the torture. While most Yeerks used memory torture only as a way to discipline a "resistant" host, there were those who used it for their own personal recreation. As a way to relieve boredom. Those Yeerks, Aftran knew, were all in the pool with just enough Kandrona rays to stay alive. They would never be eligible for infestation. There was even rumors that they were kept apart from their fellow Yeerks, in cages, to prevent any communication with their fellow prisoners. It was a light punishment compared to what they deserved, but the human government wished to show even the worst Yeerks a level of mercy, given their corrupt government that had trained them to be heartless.

Aftran became aware of the memory reel stopping. (Cassie?)

(You were immersed in your own thoughts,) Cassie explained. (Ready to continue?)

Aftran gave a mental nod.

Marco had arrived before long, and Cassie had pled for the lives of Karen and Aftran. Karen had been aware of everything that had happened, had even tried to fight for control at one point. Aftran hadn't bothered to scold her, much less punish her. When Cassie began to morph wolf and grabbed Karen's head towards hers, Aftran had not hesitated before entering Cassie's ear.

The body, itself, was not dissimilar to Karen's. Larger, certainly, but still a human child. Well, a human teenager, as they called themselves. Cassie had recently turned fourteen years of age.

Cassie stopped the memory reel again, causing Aftran to feel mild disorientation. The memories of infestation were always vivid in her mind, but Cassie's had been the most powerful to date.

(Cassie?) she asked, reaching out to her Yeerk.

(When they announced that they were working on a cure for nothlits,) Cassie began, (I remembered when you were in my head. I'd never forgotten it, but it had been decades. You didn't traumatize me either time, exactly, but the second time was definitely...you didn't take control. Not as you connected to my mind. You did, later, when I let you. The first time, I remember a sort of bleeding. Not literally, but as you made contact with my mind, and as I lost control, I saw your memories. And now. I'm in your head, but the same kind of thing didn't happen.)

Even though Cassie was the Yeerk, Aftran could understand the unasked question as clearly as though she had been the one in charge.

(When I infested you the first time, I was under great physical stress,) Aftran began. (You were part morphed, and nearly forcing me to infest you. Your friend was also an immediate threat to me. Staying in Karen, refusing to leave her head, seemed like it would have been a near fatal move. So, I left her head and entered yours as quickly as I could. The conditions for infestation were hardly...ideal. Had you been at the Yeerk Pool and your head was being held under the water...or I was in a tank and your head was being held there...those are the two most common ways Yeerks infest their hosts. Voluntarily or not. We're not supposed to...) Aftran cut herself off. (A Yeerk was expected to keep themselves closed off from their host as much as possible. Emotions seep through, but we were told not to let any memories get out unless we were showing them to our host on purpose. The stress of the situation made me want to enter your head as quickly as possible, take control as soon as I could. I suppose I saw it as a sort of a race. I was...hasty.)

(You didn't mean for me to see what I did?) Cassie asked.

Aftran gave a mental shrug. (I...was intending to show you parts of my life. To elicit sympathy. Not immediately, but...)

Cassie seemed disappointed. (Manipulation.)

(At first,) Aftran agreed. (Until I saw yours. Keep going, Cassie. Please?)

Cassie obliged, wordlessly.

Her new host's experiences were, of course, as far from Karen's as was possible to be. Karen was the only daughter to a rich family who doted on her. Cassie was also an only child, and her parents loved her, but she had grown up doing farm chores since she was Karen's age. And enjoying the work. Aftran could tell that it showed in her build. Cassie may have considered herself to be chunky, though not exactly overweight, but Aftran thought that what Cassie thought of as "chunky" would more accurately be described as muscular. Not that she was any great threat-outside of her ability to change into any vicious animal at will. She was no threat for a Hork-Bajir in her human form.

Aftran hadn't had a chance to search the entirety of Cassie's memories, so she claimed later, but the truth was that she wanted to enjoy the body itself. While Karen and Cassie were both humans, Cassie's body was more developed, and uninjured. It was easier to navigate with. Not to mention, Cassie possessed the morphing ability associated, until now, solely with Andalites. All the same, Aftran was curious enough about her new-temporary, she knew-host to look around at some of Cassie's memories. She told herself that Cassie must have been expecting Aftran to look around in her mind while she was there. It even occurred to Aftran that she might want to keep Cassie as her host body, after using her to turn in the others. All the same, she knew that the human would ultimately be unwilling host regardless of her actions towards her, Aftran was wary of traumatizing her from the start. At least, she wasn't screaming in her head, the way Karen had at the beginning.

No, Aftran was relieved to find that Cassie-while bewildered by her own decision to force the Yeerk to infest her-was quiet as Aftran looked through some of her memories.

This gave Aftran the time to understand Cassie as a person. It was considerably easier to get to know your host when they weren't screaming in the back of their head. What amazed Aftran the most, even more than Cassie's morphing ability and her warriors' ability to be a thorn in the side of Visser Three, was her own beliefs. That all life was-in the human's mind-sacred. From a termite queen to a human being. To a Yeerk. Cassie did not want to kill Aftran to save Karen. Even if it was the logical thing to do, and, in light of the war they were in, the right thing to do.

Aftran acknowledged that Cassie had killed before then, but it had always been in self defense. Because, after all, the Yeerks were out to destroy everything she held sacred, so any killing that she did on her end was justified, and in defense of the planet. She might not kill a Controller in cold blood in his own bed, but warriors were fair game. So, she had believed before. Now, it seemed, her new host had left the Animorphs because she was weary of killing. It was not, as Aftran had callously suggested earlier, because her old life had ceased to be interesting. Rather, she was tired of the violence. She would even-Aftran knew-sacrifice her own freedom for Karen's life.

Aftran knew that she would not keep Cassie as her host, and she would find a way to free Karen. She, as well, as tired of the fighting. Besides, she believed that there was a better way. She had not been lying to Cassie when she said that there were Yeerks who refused to take unwilling hosts. Granted, they had done so diplomatically, usually volunteering for a Taxxon instead of a Hork-Bajir or human. Few Yeerks wanted Taxxon bodies, because of the hunger they faced, but it was because of the hunger that all Taxxons were voluntary. A Yeerk would have to fight the hunger on a regular basis, but they would never have to fight the mind.

Besides, there were voluntary humans. Enough, possibly, for every Yeerk who wanted one to have one. Still. These Yeerks had to join together, had to take a stand against the empire and the way they were shaping the Yeerk race. Aftran had known from the other Yeerks that once, they had coexisted with Gedds and improved them as a species. The relationship had been symbiotic. Perhaps, something like that could be formed with humanity. But only, Aftran knew, if there were enough Yeerks who were willing to fight for it.

(You changed. After seeing inside my mind,) Cassie observed.

(Well, hard not to,) Aftran retorted, making her tone teasing. (You were such a goodie goodie. I mean, Cassie, you felt remorse over killing a termite!)

(I believed that all life was precious. I still do,) was the response.

(I know.) Aftran grew serious. (But yes. I realized that I couldn't keep Karen a slave anymore. I'd been fighting with myself, ever since--ever since breaking Het. I suppose that I wanted to make amends, but didn't know how to do so. Giving up Karen wouldn't help him, of course, but it would help her.)

(And others,) Cassie noted. (Your sacrifice gave over a hundred Yeerks the courage for fight for our freedom. You would have given your life for it.)

Aftran laughed. (By the time you had saved me from Visser Three, I had matured. I was...less selfish.)

After all, Aftran wasn't about to give up everything merely for the sake of "doing the right thing". Before Aftran could agree to free Karen and risk her life for this cause, she needed to test Cassie's resolution. Her desire for peace.

It would have been a mistake to believe that Aftran did not know about caterpillars changing into butterflies. It was precisely for this reason that she selected a caterpillar. She could have found a worm easily enough, or a slug. Or any other insect without eyes. Why, she could have made Cassie use one from her own memory. However, Aftran was not entirely sure how long it took for a caterpillar to be ready to begin to turn into a butterfly. Surely, it did not happen on their first day on this planet. Nor, Aftran had to admit, did she anticipate that once Cassie had turned into a butterfly, that she would be able to morph again. She imagined that Cassie would be happy to have wings and-possibly?-be able to see again, but that she would live out the rest of her life as a butterfly.

(Did you think I had cheated you, morphing back?) Cassie asked her. (I debated whether I should just ignore my friends when they told me.)

Aftran sighed. (I never meant you to become a nothlit, Cassie. The thoughts you saw just now...those were only my thoughts. By the time I had it all planned, I knew that it was only supposed to be a test. I planned to stop you-reach out to you-five minutes before the two hour mark. What I failed to recognize was that without Marco there, there was no one to send you a message. I had been intent on keeping us hidden for two hours or longer, but I isolated you from any means of communication. I thought that you would hear me in caterpillar form, that it didn't matter. That you would demorph once I told you to do so. When you didn't, I knew that you couldn't hear me.) Aftran realized that she was mentally crying at the memory. (I guess, I thought that if you heard me and became human again, I could use that against you. Or, at least, as a form of leverage. To do that, I don't know. I was going to free Karen either way. And, with her freed, I would have to hide myself in the pool for as long as possible. You didn't know-you couldn't know-that I was about to be living on borrowed time. Anyway, since I never intended you to become a nothlit, how could I have been angry when you found a way out?)

(I guess,) Cassie mused, (you must have been glad when I rescued you that I had. Because, with all of the others sick, there was no one else to rescue you.)

(Or your friends, either,) Aftran pointed out. (I would have lasted as long as I could under Visser Three, but I could not say for certain that I wouldn't break at some point. I would like to say that I would have died for you and your friends...but there's no way of knowing.)

They were both quiet for a few moments. Then, Cassie spoke. (How did you manage to keep Karen free?)

(See for yourself,) Aftran replied, smiling mentally. (It is your job as my temporary Yeerk.)

(Touche,) Cassie retorted, laughing.

Once they arrived at Karen's home, Aftran knew that she had to act quickly. She realized that the mere act of freeing her child host would be simple compared to keeping her free. If she couldn't manage the latter, there would be little point of doing the former. Regardless of how it affected Aftran-she imagined that if the truth came out, another Yeerk would be given her host, and she would be starved for treason. Perhaps, then, it did matter. Aftran's life would be at stake if Karen could not remain free.

Aftran decided that the best way for them to do this task was for Karen and her family to move outside of the state. There was a window of time. For as long as Aftran remained hidden from the empire, Karen would probably be safe from the threat of infestation. If they acted too soon, people would notice. Her host's father, Aftran knew, would have to sell his bank and they would have to sell their house. The only way to convince Aftran's parents of this, convincingly, was for Aftran to first tell them everything, and then show her to her host's parents.

She kept all of this was simple as she could to the human child.

(Karen, in order to keep you free, you and your parents need to leave your home for good. They can't run away, because people would notice. I need to explain everything to them. Once I do, I will leave your head. You have to tell them everything. But, Karen, you cannot let them kill me. All right?)

Her host gave a mental nod. (A-and I have to put you back in my head.)

(Yes. No matter what they tell you, I need to go back in your head,) Aftran confirmed.

They had been getting along better since their encounter with Cassie. Aftran had been sharing control with Karen. And Karen had not done anything with it that she wasn't supposed to. Yell, for instance, about Yeerks. Aftran trusted Karen as much as she could trust a small human child to do everything correctly.

It went as well as could be expected. Aftran spoke to Karen's parents one evening, exactly a week after Karen had been returned home. She told them everything. About Yeerks, about how Karen had been taken to observe her father, and how Aftran had gotten lost after trying to track down the alien who had killed her brother. That, when the alien (who turned out to be human) and her had spent a day or so together, she realized that she needed to free Karen. Especially since the human who could become any animal at will was now trapped in the body of a caterpillar. Aftran told Karen's parents that she would free their daughter, and then they had to sell everything and move. Not that night, but they certainly should do everything as quickly as possible without raising any suspicions.

Predictably, Karen's parents believed nothing.

So, Aftran left Karen's head for the second time, without a Yeerk pool or guards being nearby to prevent her from being killed.

She'd told Karen to put her in a glass of water immediately afterwards, but either the human forgot, or she had worried that her parents would kill Aftran. Once Aftran was back in her head, she learned it was the latter. Aftran still felt the warmth of the small child's hands around her. Holding her close, protecting her.

It had felt like hours, but since Aftran didn't feel herself beginning to dry up, it had to have been fewer than fifteen minutes. Finally, she'd felt Karen lift her up to her ear, and she pushed her way inside. She was not, thank the Kandrona, in so much of a hurry that she neglected to use plenty of painkillers. This was not only for the benefit of the child, but so that her parents would have another-faulty-excuse to kill her.

They believed Karen, even if they hadn't believed Aftran. Which was hardly surprising to the Yeerk, especially since the existence of aliens was still a question in their minds, rather than an irrefutable fact. Now, of course, they knew the truth.

Neither Aftran nor Karen knew much of the details, and Aftran freed Karen the next time she went to the Yeerk Pool. Months passed before her capture, so Aftran believed that her host-her former host-was safe.

(She is,) Cassie confirmed, now. (Five years after the war ended, I finally managed to find her. She had a new name, and she was thirteen, so of course, she looked a lot older.) Cassie laughed, probably realizing that Karen after the war was the same age that she had been when the war started. (Her family moved to another state, and her dad sold the bank. They went, as we call it, off the grid, for most of the war. Karen's mom homeschooled her, and hardly let her out of her their sight, even though the Yeerks weren't active in the midwest back then. Their got new names, of course, but her dad also made sure that they paid for everything they could in cash. Not their house, obviously, but anything else that wasn't suspicious. It was easier back then. No social media, for one thing. After the war ended, they moved back to California. Even managed to buy back their own house from the owners.)

(I'm so glad,) Aftran murmured. (Is she...?)

(She was a completely normal teenager,) Cassie reassured Aftran. (We've kept in touch. She's now-thirty-four, I believe. And Aftran, she's even considering becoming a part time host.)

Aftran laughed. (Are you serious?)

(Yes, why else would scientists have bothered finding a cure for nothlits? Not that they'll admit to it, but Yeerks were the ones who stood the most to benefit. There are many humans who were voluntary during the war, but there weren't enough Yeerks at the end to fill the need. Even after we allowed them to reproduce. Now, though, there should be enough for every human who wants a Yeerk to have one.)

(And Karen's one of them?)

(Well, she's definitely thinking about it.) Cassie shrugged. (I don't know if she'll go through with it-some don't, or not at first. But, what's important is that she's happy, and if she does become a Controller, it's her decision. Not that we call them that, anymore. Symbiont is the "politically correct" term,) Cassie concluded, rolling her eyes (mentally) and doing the human hand gesture of finger quotes over the term "politically correct".

Relief flooded Aftran. That the child hadn't been permanently damaged, that she was open enough to give Yeerks another chance. How much had happened in the past twenty-seven years? She'd known that humans evolved in their technology, even in their mindsets, far faster than the Andalites had. Even so...

(I suppose we're up to the point in my memories in which I attempt to recruit other Yeerks, and inadvertently end up revealing myself, thereby nearly getting everyone killed,) Aftran told Cassie, after they watched the memory of her leaving Karen for good.

(Let's do it,) Cassie replied. She glanced at the clock. (We're already forty minutes in.)


	6. Chapter 6

Aftran knew that she had to exercise caution, not simply with how she freed Karen, but how she went about selecting, organizing, and ultimately, fighting, with Yeerks to work against the empire. She hadn't been lying when she told Cassie that there were Yeerks who objected to taking unwilling hosts. But she didn't know whether they acted on this objection as far as refusing to take a host body on these grounds, whether they tried to convince their host to become willing, or whether they simply volunteered for a Taxxon host because they were universally voluntary.

Or, if it was something else entirely. If there was anything universal about their actions.

She did realize that she could hardly go abo asking any Yeerk she came across. Nor could she entirely trust her family or the Yeerks she once considered her friends. Aftran decided to lay low for the first two months, as this would give Karen and her family plenty of time to escape without drawing attention to her own actions. Right before Aftran had freed Karen, her mother had listed their house, and her father was in the process of transferring ownership of his company to his brother, who had been a lesser partner. He claimed that he wanted to take time away and repair his marriage. Neither of which were true, as far as anyone was concerned, but these were excuses humans could understand. So, there was that. After Aftran freed Karen, her parents would keep her in seclusion for three days. Just to be certain. After their house sold, they would leave.

Aftran imagined that they would have at least two months before anyone noticed the disappearance of Karen and Aftran from the Pool or The Sharing. Two months should be plenty of time for them to get out of the state. And that, Aftran reasoned, was only if she was caught, reported, and executed immediately. In all likelihood, even if the first Yeerk she spoke to reported her to a Visser or sub-Visser and her trial and execution were rapid, she would be able to give Karen and her family another month to escape.

That was a worst case scenario. Aftran was not planning to act recklessly.

Now, having accepted her fate at being hostless for the remainder of her life, Aftran found that she had a seemingly infinite amount of time at her disposal. Yeerks slept, of course, but they didn't require nearly as much rest as humans. At most, five hours per every twenty-four. Moreover, while in the Yeerk Pool, consuming Kandrona rays was an entirely passive activity, requiring no focus on the part of the Yeerk. Unlike the other intelligent species she'd either infested or been aware of. She'd found that while humans could hold a conversation while sharing a meal, their ability to "multi-task" in this manner was nothing compared to Yeerk feeding. Far, far less efficient. Gedds and Hork-Bajir never spoke while they ate, and, even though Aftran had never infested a Taxxon, she was certain that this was also the case with them. Aftran, like all of her other brother Yeerks, could absorb Kandrona rays as easily through holding a conversation with other Yeerks as she could on her own. In this manner, Yeerks were the more developed species.

With such a large amount of free time at her disposal, Aftran knew that she might have fallen into despair if she did not force herself to focus on her mission. Recruitment. This required observation. Intense observation. Fortunately, as she knew, time was one thing she had plenty of.

In the early weeks, she simply spent her free time swimming throughout the pool, listening to conversations between her brother Yeerks. Not actual brothers, but most lower level Yeerks considered all Yeerks to be family-not unlike how humans considered themselves to be part of a "human family". Neither were entirely accurate as far as how they treated others, but Yeerks, at least, were communicative towards other Yeerks regardless of rank. At least, those who weren't Vissers or sub-Vissers.

The main conversation topics revolved around the "Andalite bandits", some gossip about other Yeerks, and their hosts. At least, the Yeerks who had hosts spoke about them. Since nearly all Hork-Bajir were involuntary and more than half of humans were involuntary, many Yeerks complained to each other about having to endure their cries. Some Yeerks seemed more affected by it than others, who would speak openly about disciplining their hosts in order to silence them.

Aftran would listen to these conversations, and make note of the names of the Yeerks who voiced-if not distress, at least discomfort-at listening to the cries and pleas from their hosts. If a Yeerk who currently infested a Hork-Bajir complained to a Yeerk with a human, especially one with a voluntary human, they would as likely as not be informed that once they advanced to being able to infest a human, they were far more likely to get a voluntary human. They could even place a request for a willing human.

Depending on the Yeerk's reaction, Aftran could make an assessment about whether or not this Yeerk would be helpful to her. Or at least, not report her for host sympathy. A Yeerk who made some comment about needing to torture his host more to get him or her to behave before they could receive a voluntary human would not be someone she spoke with later. But, a Yeerk who seemed eager for a voluntary human and made no comments about discipline was someone she would make a concerted effort to speak with.

After five months of conversations and gathering information, she had a group of nearly fifty Yeerks who flat out opposed involuntary infestation. All fifty declared that they would free their host if they were involuntary, or reject an assignment that would result in an involuntary host. None of them had Taxxon hosts, and none of them wanted Taxxons. Even if it meant not having a host, the stories about Taxxon hunger were so nightmarish that they preferred to wait for a voluntary human over infesting one of those.

And, by the time Aftran had been reported as having freed her host and assisting them on escaping the Yeerk empire, the numbers had nearly doubled.

She was pleased with the results so far. It was not enough to launch a full scale attack on the empire, of course, but her cautious outlook, given the police state she lived in, had made her believe that she would be fortunate to receive as many as ten members in the first year. Looking back, perhaps her enthusiasm and jubilation had made her reckless. She had, after all, been captured. But, it might have happened regardless.

Aftran thanked the Kandrona that she'd had the sense to keep the information about Cassie and the other Animorphs a secret. That information was still in her hands--metaphorically speaking--alone. 

In any event, she was captured suddenly, placed in a wire cage before she could swim away quickly enough. The cage, in and of itself, had not prevented her from communicating with other Yeerks.

There were a handful who Aftran trusted enough to relay a message to Cassie. But only one who could communicate with her quickly. Illim Nine-Three-Four, whose host was a teacher at her school.

Illim had joined one month previously. He had infested Cassie's history teacher-against his will-for three months prior to learning about Aftran's newly formed movement against the taking of involuntary hosts. At first, he seemed conflicted. While he was opposed to taking hosts against their will, he did not believe that he was brave enough to free Cassie's teacher and risk execution.

As it turned out, the teacher had asked Illim to remain in him, once he learned that his Yeerk had experienced a change of heart. Mr. Tidwell, as the host was named, believed that a Yeerk with a voluntary host could do more for the movement than a Yeerk imprisoned in the Yeerk Pool. Illim responded to this by giving Tidwell control whenever possible, and whatever privacy could be managed when two creatures inhabited the same shared mental space. Just before the time of Aftran's capture, Illim reported that the two had progressed from merely being on good terms to becoming friends.

It gave Aftran hope for the movement-and for the fact that he could get a message out to Cassie about her capture.

Aftran knew that she would die shortly after Cassie freed her from the Yeerk Pool. But, the others would live, and perhaps, it would persuade other reluctant Yeerks to join. It would surely be another thorn in Visser Three's side to learn that she had escaped.

She sent out messages via the Yeerk language every few minutes.

*Illim Nine-Three-Four. It's Aftran Nine-Four-Two.*

Perhaps other Yeerks heard, and told him that she was looking for him.

Yeerks of the Peace Movement, of course.

Because he "appeared", as it were, by her cage a day later.

*Aftran Nine-Four-Two,* he greeted, and she could feel his concern for her. *It's Illim Nine-Three-Four. Are you all right? No, of course, you aren't. Is there anything I can do to help you? Do you have any other contacts?*

Aftran did not answer his questions immediately. Instead, she merely asked him a few questions about him and his host, all consisting of information he had previously relayed to the Movement, before trusting him enough to give him her message.

*You are to inform Cassie that I have been captured.* She hesitated, then added, *If you cannot find her before your next feeding, speak with Jake, Rachel, or Marco.*

Illim paused before speaking. *Do you mean Cassie Bra-*

Aftran cut him off abruptly. *Yes, but do not give her full last name here!*

Illim made a few clicks that, in the Yeerk language, translated to the human expression of a nod. *I do not understand, Aftran. How can Cassie or any of her friends assist you?*

Aftran let out a few clicks to indicate a sigh. *You might say that Cassie's the reason I've been captured.*

(Hey!) Cassie said, once she had heard this, laughing.

(Oh, please, Cassie. You know it's true,) Aftran grinned. (Besides, how else was I supposed to convince him to speak to you?)

Cassie mentally rolled her eyes and opened up Aftran's memories again.

*I don't follow* Illim told her. *What role does this human have in your being captured?*

Aftran spoke so quietly and so quickly that she wasn't sure Illim would be able to make out the words. *The Andalite bandits are all human, except for one Andalite. His name is Aximili, but the humans call him "Ax". The other humans I told you about are all morph capable. Elfangor gave them the morphing power just before Visser Three killed him. There's another human, as well. Tobias. He...it's a long story, but he is now a red tailed hawk who can morph. However, you're unlikely to be able to communicate directly with him. Just go to Cassie, and tell her that I've been captured. That it will be Visser Three who oversees it. That she must rescue me, and then...kill me.*

(Illim left the last part out,) Cassie commented.

(Typical,) Aftran noted. (But he got the rest of the message to you, as I saw from your memories back then.)

(I wondered, afterwards, how many members of the Peace Movement knew the truth about us,) Cassie mused. (If you'd told everyone about us.)

Aftran gave a mental shake of the head. (No. Granted, I can't speak for what Illim told them after I became a whale nothlit, but he was the only person who I, personally, told. I wouldn't have told anyone, had it not been imperative to deliver the message to you, or one of your friends. Even though there were many Yeerks who believed you were human, it was far too risky to entrust your direct identities with anyone who did not need to know. I believe that Illim understood this implicitly.)

(Well, if he told anyone else afterwards, they didn't rat us out,) Cassie reassured Aftran. (When the Yeerks found out who we were, it was through other methods...but that's another story.)

(Not torture, I hope?) Aftran asked, her voice taking on a anxious note.

(Not torture,) Cassie promised, soothingly. (It was more...DNA related. Like I said, you'll see it all when you're in my head.)

(You still want me in your head, Cassie?) Aftran mused. (After all I did?)

Cassie laughed. (Unless you've committed mass murder since becoming a humpback whale, I think I've seen the worst of what you've done already,) Cassie replied. (And I don't think killing thousands of pounds of small fish in order to survive counts as a crime. Well, maybe according to PETA, but I won't tell them if you don't,) she added, teasingly.

Aftran snickered at this. (I'd still like you to see the rest of my memories,) she told Cassie. (Although, I'm afraid that you may find them to be rather boring, after I became a whale.)

Cassie agreed, and continued to see Aftran's memory of the events of her life surrounding her capture.

Aftran waited for days. Illim came back twice. The first time, to report that he had given Cassie the message, but that the mission may not consist of the entire force.

*The Andalite you spoke of is currently ill, and his condition may be contagious. He nearly demorphed completely during a school dance. But I delivered the message to your contact, and she will make every attempt to rescue you before your trial.*

Then, on the day of her trial, literally minutes before Visser Three arrived, Illim was back at her cage, with only two words.

*She's here.*

Before Aftran could process the words, she felt herself being hurled out of the water. Felt the Andalite host's hands around her body, and heard his thought speech.

Realized that Cassie hadn't made it in time.

Then, suddenly, another pair of hands was grabbing hers. She was back in the pool. Aftran became aware of movement, kept trying to grab onto the human form that she believed to be Cassie...and then the body disappeared from her grasp.

Suddenly, another body grabbed her...except, it was changing.

Aftran knew it was Cassie.

She heard a message telling her to get between her talons...and then, she was out of the pool.

Either Aftran didn't know that Yeerks couldn't remain out of the water for extended periods of time, or Cassie had no water or receptacle for the water with her. She began to worry that she would start to dry up, until she became aware of an ear.

In spite of her promise never to take another host, she assumed that this one had been provided by Cassie and was voluntary. It was not human-Aftran knew that much. Nor was it Hork-Bajir or Gedd. A Chee, perhaps? She didn't care, simply pushed her way in before she started to dry up.

A quick search of the memory indicated that she was in an Andalite body. Not Visser Three, certainly. Perhaps Aximili? But why?

(Cassie?) she asked, borrowing the Andalite's thought speech. Worrying why the mind seemed to be-unconscious?

Cassie explained the situation with Aximili's gland. Aftran moved around in his mind, speaking to Cassie as she did so, helping her operate. It occurred to her that if the gland exploded with her inside and she died, it had to be far less painful than torture or Kandrona starvation. But, she didn't want Aximili to die, so she focused on helping Cassie get the swollen gland removed as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Aftran had told Cassie that as soon as Aximili came to, he began to scream. She'd been downplaying his horror.

She felt the Andalite begin to awaken. Before he could say anything to him, she spoke, as gently as possible.

(Aximili, it's Aftran. Cassie's friend. Your surgery went well, and you're going to be fine.)

His response at hearing her voice was panic. He fought for control-harder than any of her other hosts. He might have succeeded, too, had he not been so ill.

(YEERK!) he screamed. (FILTHY YEERK! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!)

(Aximili, I'll be out in a minute,) Aftran promised. (Cassie has to finish stitching your head up. As soon as she's done, I'll leave your head. I promise!)

(NO!) he yelled, trying again to get control. (NO! SHE SHOULD HAVE LET ME DIE!)

He imagined himself killing himself with his own tail blade.

Aftran repeated the message to Cassie, trying to tune out Aximili's screams. Trying to hold onto control, at least long enough for Cassie to finish her stitches. Couldn't she hurry?

"He doesn't understand," Cassie insisted.

(Yes, he does. I'm coming out,) Aftran replied, definitively.

She'd never been in such a hurry to leave a host. She could only hope that Aximili wouldn't kill her while she was still attached to his ear. Not for her own sake, but for Cassie's.

After all, she was going to die anyway, so as long as it was relatively painless, she shouldn't care how it was done.

Still, Aftran felt that Cassie shouldn't have to see Aximili lose his life trying to kill her. She didn't know much about Andalite biology, but it was very likely that the stress of clawing at his ear and killing Aftran could result in an Andalite heart attack.

Which was the last thing Cassie needed to see.

Death didn't come for her-she managed to leave Aximili's ear in one piece. Literally. Moments later, she felt her body being placed in water. After that, another ear. She hesitated, but after determining through echolocation that this was definitely a human ear, she concluded that the ear belonged to Cassie.

Once inside, Aftran felt all of the emotions of her host, of course. She was able to connect fully to the mind without grabbing control from Cassie, but Cassie was already running a mixture of what humans called an adrenaline high and a letdown at the same time, that Aftran thought she barely noticed that she was still in control of her body.

Not that Aftran regretted not seizing control.

(I knew you would come for me, Cassie,) she told Cassie, simply.

She was about to say more, but Cassie promptly began to thank her for saving Aximili's life. This led to a brief reminiscence about their first meeting, which Aftran had to cut off before it became too difficult.

(Cassie, there's something I have to ask you to do for me.)

Cassie agreed immediately...until Aftran told her what it was.

In the end, at least that day, Cassie asked Aftran if they could wait until just before the hunger from Kandrona starvation began.

(That would be at sixty hours,) Aftran told Cassie. (It's been about an hour so far.)

(Okay. Then, we have at least two days to figure something out. In the meantime, you're staying in my head.)

(I couldn't!) Aftran protested.

(Hey, I'm not taking no for an answer,) Cassie told her. (If you even try to get out of my ear, I'll just plug my ears as soon as I have control and force you to stay in. Or, if you manage to keep hold of my hands, I'll put you back in after you're out.)

(Well, all right,) Aftran grumbled. (But I'm certainly not going to take control of your body. Or go searching through your memory.)

Cassie shrugged. (I can't argue with you about controlling my body. I'm definitely okay with that. But, I've been a Yeerk. I know that...you can't help what you see in your host's head.)

Aftran gave a little haughty snort. (Oh, excuse me. You were a Yeerk for all of an hour, weren't you? I can assure you, Cassie, that once you've had practice, you can control what you see and don't see in a host's memory.)

(Uh huh. So, the things I saw in Tidwell's mind?)

Aftran gave Cassie a gentle smile. (Had it been me, I would have been able to control what I saw.)

(You're saying that I need practice?) Cassie teased.

Aftran considered Cassie' question. (I wouldn't recommend it, unless you plan to morph Yeerk for another mission.)

Cassie tried to hide a mental shudder. (Hope not. We all want to spend as little time at the Yeerk Pool as possible.)

(I can't exactly blame you there, Cassie,) Aftran admitted. (Anyway, for when I'm in your head... I won't delve into any of your memories without your full consent.)

(Thank you,) Cassie told her, relief evident in her tone.

That evening, though, Cassie allowed Aftran to take control of her body. Not the control that Aftran was used to, in which the host could not do anything on their own. Rather, on these occasions, Aftran utilized Cassie's body while allowing her host to intervene without any mental strain on her end. She was not a prisoner in her mind, at the mercy of her Yeerk.

Aftran could feel Cassie's wonder at this experience of shared control even after they had been operating in this manner for over an hour.

(Aftran?) she asked.

(Yes, Cassie?)

Aftran knew, of course, what Cassie was going to ask. She had kept her promise about not searching Cassie's memories, but her thoughts were hardly something she could avoid seeing.

(When Mr. Tidwell, and Illim, spoke to me the second time, my teacher said that he was speaking for himself. After Illim said that he was repeating his thoughts for him. Do you think that they were sharing control of his body, like we are?)

Aftran took a minute to think about this. She glanced up from Cassie's math textbook, which they had been studying for an upcoming test, to better focus on the question at hand.

(It's possible,) she said. (I didn't have very much interaction with Illim before I was captured. I only knew that he had taken an involuntary host, but after hearing about the Peace Movement, he slowly changed his mind. His host, upon being offered freedom, opted to have Illim remain in his head. From what you've told me, they have gone from slave and master to friends?)

Cassie nodded, mentally. (He told me that, while Illim was in his head. A couple days later, when I morphed Illim to save you...Mr. Tidwell seemed really uneasy about Illim not being there. He said that he felt empty when Illim left.)

It was Aftran's turn to nod. (Many voluntary hosts feel that way. My Gedd did.) She was silent for a minute. (I suppose that, at your second meeting with him, they could have been sharing his body. The motor skills, that is, since they were already sharing one. It's also possible that Illim had been in control, and released it to your teacher. Your guess is as good as mine in that. You could ask them, if you wanted to know.)

(I probably shouldn't,) Cassie told her. (It feels too...personal.)

Aftran didn't disagree.

The following day had been the meeting, and Aftran had remained in Cassie's head for the duration of it, but not allowing herself access to using Cassie's body. The Animorphs had all agreed that she should live, and Jake had been the one to suggest allowing her the morphing power until the condition she become a nothlit.

Even though everyone agreed that this was the safest course of action, Aftran later wished that they could have found a way for her to remain a Yeerk. No one had mentioned the Chee, who had the ability to use their bodies as a Kandrona. Looking back, Aftran could have either lived inside of one, or resided in Cassie and gone to the Chee every three days for nourishment.

Five years after living as a whale, another idea had occurred to her-to "kidnap" Tom and, after waiting long enough for him to seek refuge inside of a Chee, use her as Tom's Yeerk for the duration of the war. They would have needed to secure Tom's permission for this, but she would have treated him better than his other Yeerk. It would have been freedom for him-as much as would be possible for any involuntary host during the war.

Aftran reminded herself that these were children, not military experts. They had done their best to think of a way to keep her alive, and they had succeeded. She tried to be happy, to be grateful, with the end result.

Cassie saw all of these thoughts and memories, of course. At the mention of Tom, she did a mental double take.

(That would have been better than what we came up with,) she told Aftran.

(Did he-?)

(Jake sent Rachel to kill him,) Cassie told her. (And another Controller killed her right afterwards.)

Aftran felt sick. Heartbroken, even. How awful for Jake. How...preventable.

(The rest of us survived. Physically, anyway. Tobias lived in the wild as a hawk. Marco got rich doing interviews and writing books. Ax returned to his planet and was promoted, of course. I worked with the Hork-Bajir for awhile. The Peace Movement. Then, advocating for voluntary hosts for the Yeerks who couldn't morph.)

(And Jake?)

(Never totally recovered.) Cassie was quiet for awhile. (And then, they all just sort of disappeared when they went on another mission.)

(Disappeared?) Aftran echoed.

Cassie gave a mental shrug. (About five years after the war ended. Ax had been taken, and they were going to rescue him. I offered to come, but Jake said no, that I should be here. So, I stayed behind, but Marco and Tobias joined Jake. And...they never came back. I imagine that they died in battle. I-I hoped that they'd return. For ten years, I kept thinking that I'd get a call from our government or from Jake, letting me know they were back. Jake and I weren't together after the war...Ronnie and I had gotten married by then. I guess it was around ten years that I accepted that they were gone. Even if they weren't dead, they weren't going to come back.)

Aftran could tell that Cassie, while still frustrated at not knowing what had happened, had more or less made peace with the events.

(At the beginning, a few months after they disappeared and Marco stopped appearing on TV, some people began asking what had happened to the Animorphs. As the only remaining Animorph on the planet, the reporters began to harass me. I just said that they were all taking a break and we all wanted to be left in peace. They knew not to bug me for more information,) she added, grinning a little. (And, after a year or so, everyone just figured that they had probably decided to move to a remote island or something. Escape everything. No one knew about Ax's disappearance, and since there were never any bodies that returned home...Anyway, by now, the war is ancient history. The focus is on integrating Yeerks into our society.)

(What about our home planet?) Aftran pushed.

(It's still there,) Cassie reassured her. (It was heavily surveilled by the Andalites at the beginning. Some Yeerks opted to go back instead of living here, even though all of the Gedds had been...)

(Relocated to Earth?) Aftran suggested.

(Pretty much. Mostly to prevent the Yeerks living there from using them as hosts. Although, I guess most Gedds were more or less voluntary?)

(Some were. Few really fought us. Our history says that we evolved with them, and we did improve their life span, and their physical health. It wasn't always true symbiosis,) Aftran admitted, (but they never used cages on the home world. There wasn't clear assignment of Gedds to a particular Yeerk, either, back then.)

(Until Seerow.)

(Yes. Until he came.)

Cassie was quiet for a minute. (Anyway, I figure that once all of the nothlits have been given their true bodies back, the next step will be officially returning the home world to the Yeerks, while ensuring that the empire and forced infestation remain a thing of the past. Still, I figure that's at least a few years off.)

(I imagine so,) Aftran mused. (I've never been to my home planet. I'd like to go, someday. Not to stay there, but to see what it's like...)

(We could go together,) Cassie told her. (Um...it's okay for humans, right?)

(The air's breathable, yes,) Aftran confirmed. (Humans should probably bring their own provisions, unless they prefer a diet based solely on fruit and small fish. From what I've heard, anyway.)

(No cinnabons, huh? I guess that might be the next step. Did you know that the Andalites actually traded us some of their technology for two on their home planet? And that was back when the Animorphs were still living on Earth.)

(I've seen your memories, Cassie,) Aftran giggled. (You don't want to get between Ax and a cinnamon bun. And I doubt that the other Andalites are much different.)

(They're not,) Cassie confirmed. (It's a good thing that what you eat isn't stored in your morph's DNA, because we would have an obesity crisis on our hands just from the human morphs from Andalites.)

(Oh, they'd just acquire others, instead,) Aftran pointed out, laughing. (Each Andalite would have at least 100 different human morphs.)

(Well, that's a creative way to avoid dieting,) Cassie joked. She glanced at the clock. (We have less than ten minutes left. Is there anything else I haven't seen?)

Aftran shrugged. Mentally, of course. Funny, but she had almost become used to Cassie having complete control over here. Then again, they weren't really doing much, just sitting in a chair, while her Yeerk/future host was going through her entire history. It had been as unpleasant as she'd expected--maybe more--but, at the same time, bearing her soul to Cassie had felt freeing. It hadn't consisted of nearly two hours of mental torture. Far from it.

Well, at least most of the time. And the part that had been difficult--she couldn't blame Cassie for having to relive her own mistakes.

(Just the part where I hear your message about nothlits,) Aftran told her. 

(Okay. Guess we have to replay that, just to make it official...)

She did, and less than a minute later, Aftran could honestly say that Cassie had seen everything there had been to see in her mind.

(Once you leave my head...?)

(I'll demorph, and let them know you're coming home with me, as my Yeerk,) Cassie confirmed. (I'll put you in water in case it takes more than a few minutes. Paperwork, and all that.)

(Cassie, I...)

(I know, Aftran.) She felt Cassie hug her. (See you soon.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I figure there's one more chapter to go. If you've read this far, and enjoyed it, please take a few minutes to leave feedback! Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

Aftran felt a pang of sadness as Cassie disconnected from her mind. Even though she should have been relieved at the return of control, and the absence of probing. She had been alone in her mind for so long, after all. Even if the roles had been reversed for nearly two hours, with Cassie acting as the Yeerk and Aftran as the host body, it had felt right to have another mind beside hers. She reminded herself that this loss was only temporary. Shortly after she returned to her Yeerk form, her true body, Cassie would place her in her head. She had promised to do so, and even though Aftran could not read Cassie's mind, she knew that her host was telling the truth.

It was, perhaps, a consequence of being in the form of an adult female. Humans were emotional creatures, but females even more so.

Of course, she no longer believed that this made them weak, as she had inferred to Cassie so many years ago.

Aftran wanted to wait for Cassie to demorph before doing so. To see her face in her human form. But the male human who had been with them in the room the entire time spoke up.

"You only have three minutes before you before stuck in this form, Aftran. You, uh, don't want that, do you?"

She shook her head. Cassie might be quick at morphing, but not that quick. Even if they could administer another dose of the antidote, Aftran didn't want them to waste the resource. Or the time. It would be another two hours before she would become Yeerk if she became trapped as human.

Closing her eyes, Aftran focused on her Yeerk form. The changes began immediately, and before she knew it, her sight and limbs were gone. She could feel herself being lifted up-knew it was Cassie by the scent-and placed into a tank of water. Once again, she waited. She swam around the tank, just to have something to do. Besides, Aftran knew, she ought to get used to being a Yeerk again. If Cassie did not want her in her head the whole time, Aftran might end up spending more than two hours every two and a half days in the Yeerk Pool. Thinking of the Pool made her recall being in Karen's head. Seeing the involuntary humans and Hork-Bajir. The screams.

It was not like that now, she knew. No one hosted a Yeerk against their will anymore. She wondered what the Pool area looked like. The cages had to have been removed. Destroyed, probably. Was there still a voluntary area? She'd heard that it was a pleasant enough place. More than simply a room off to the side with a TV, even though that was how it looked if you were just seeing it from the outside. Not that she would have known, with two involuntary hosts. Her Gedd hadn't been, but Aftran had infested her Gedd host before Earth had been invaded. She'd been on the Hork-Bajir homeworld at that point. For the majority of her time with Het, as well.

In the midst of her musings, Aftran found herself lifted up by Cassie. The human child-adult, now-held her carefully. Aftran didn't believe that Cassie was hesitating as she held Aftran in both hands. More likely, she was taking everything in. Perhaps, examining her, studying her body. Aftran felt a little self conscious, but she trusted Cassie.

Then, she felt herself being lifted, and then-finally-was the ear. She pushed her way inside after releasing a generous helping of painkiller, then flattening herself as she crawled into Cassie's ear. In some ways, Aftran mused, it felt as though she had last done this recently, instead of over twenty years ago. She reminded herself not to take control as she moved further into the human's brain. Physically, this wasn't complicated. If anything, it sped up the process. But instinctually...that was another story. Simply put, it went entirely against them. While Aftran didn't think Cassie would mind if Aftran had to release control to her after taking it-it had been over two decades since Aftran had infested a host, and she was bound to be rusty in certain areas-Aftran felt strongly that she would not render her new host powerless.

She would not take control unless Cassie specifically gave her permission to do so, and that included the initial connection to her mind.

Once Aftran had completed the journey to Cassie's mind, she settled herself around the center of the brain, not taking any control from the human female, but allowing her to experiences all of the senses. It was as awe inspiring as she had remembered. The two hours spent as a human host had been just that-a human host. While she could see and feel, her senses felt muted as Cassie had taken them over. She couldn't enjoy them, revel in them, as a prisoner in her borrowed body. Not really. More than that, the focus had been on her memories, and while some had been good ones, there had been plenty of pain. Aftran felt relieved to be back in her body. Her real body. And in a host-a willing host who not only accepted her presence, but had sought her out. Aftran didn't know of any Yeerks in the Peace Movement during the war who could make this claim!

Before Aftran could focus too much on the past, though, she heard Cassie's gentle voice.

(Hello, again.)

Aftran felt her host's affection in her words as well as in the emotions.

(Hello, Cassie,) she replied, sure that Cassie could feel the warmth behind her words.

Cassie laughed, mentally. (I'm still in control,) she observed, as she glanced around the room, moving her hands a little.

(I didn't want to take over control until you gave me permission. If you do,) Aftran explained. Then, she clarified, (I mean, of course, if you want to be in charge at all times, that's fine. If you want it to be partial, or at certain times-)

(Aftran!) Cassie cut off, laughing. (It's okay! We can take it one day at a time. See what feels easiest. Don't worry-I definitely want you to be able to use my body. And that includes my morphs. You only got to try out a couple those two times.)

Aftran let out a mental sigh of relief. (Thank you. I promise, Cassie, that I won't hurt you.)

(I know,) her host told her, simply. (I trust you.)

If Aftran had a heart in her Yeerk body, she was sure it would be, to borrow the human phrase, about to explode. With happiness.

She didn't open any of Cassie's memories, so she did not know what had transpired since Cassie had left her head. Cassie simply nodded to the men, and they left the room. She walked down a series of hallways and used a keypad at various checkpoints. Other humans, some wearing lab coats, spoke out brief greetings to her as they walked by. Cassie didn't stay to talk.

(I might, on an ordinary day,) Cassie confided to Aftran. (But, today's definitely not one. I just want to get us home. Show you around, and all of that.)

Aftran realized that she didn't know very much about Cassie's current life. More, really, about what had happened since the war.

(And all that?) Aftran asked, tentatively, as Cassie headed outside.

(Where to begin?) Cassie mused, laughing a little. (Well, Ronie and I got married a little after I turned twenty-five. We were engaged for a few years, and I wanted to wait, in case there was any news. I knew that Jake and I weren't going to become a couple of anything, but I guessed I didn't want to go ahead with anything while he was still missing,) Cassie answered. (But after three years, we both thought it was enough. We should either tie the knot, or break things off. I made the choice to commit, and nine months later, we got married. It was beautiful, Aftran. You can see the memories, later. Basically, we had a pretty typical honeymoon on a tropical beach, and I got pregnant then. Twins-a boy and a girl. We agreed on Rachel for the girl and Tom for the boy. They'll be sixteen in March. I had another daughter four years later. Ronie and I decided on Katherine, after his grandmother. We call her Katie. She'll be twelve in May.)

Aftran saw descriptions of the memories as Cassie recalled them. Two children becoming teenagers. The girl with long black hair. The boy with dark eyes, and very tall. The younger girl, with her slightly lighter hair in pigtails, chasing after them. The same kids, all riding bicycles. Family picnics. Cassie and Ronie on a beach, five years ago, still very much in love. The way Karen's parents looked.

Then, the memories changed. A woman, coughing up blood, being taken to the hospital by a man. Cassie's parents. The same man, unable to breath. The ambulance.

(Mom died two years ago. This rare form of cancer, undetected. By the time they caught it, there was hardly anything they could do to treat it.)

(What about morphing?) Aftran wondered.

Cassie shook her head. (They gave her the morphing powers immediately. She morphed me, and demorphed. We thought that it might be enough to cure her, but when she went in for testing the next day, the cancer was still there. Same stage. Mom could have become a nothlit. Morph another human, with their permission, or an animal. But, she said that she didn't want to lose her body. She said that she had already lived a long life, and was ready for what God had in store for her. Well, six months later, we buried her.) Aftran could hear the sorrow in her host's voice. (And then, last year, my dad had a stroke. We thought he was in good enough health, but-) Cassie gave a mental shrug. (Died at the hospital two days later. Mom was 75, Dad was 80. They weren't young, but they weren't old, either. Not really. Still, Aftran, I miss them.)

Aftran, wordlessly, pulled her host into a mental hug. She could feel her host's grief, even the unshed tears in her eyes. Even though Yeerks didn't have any bond with their parents, due to the necessary death that enabled the next generation, Aftran did have bonds with her siblings, and still felt some pain over Estril's death. Cassie's parents may have lived nearly as long as Yeerks who chose not to reproduce, but she knew that for many humans, no amount of time with their parents could be sufficient.

Of course, Aftran had also heard tales from Yeerks with voluntary hosts-and it no doubt influenced the humans' decision to become voluntary-that there were those parents whose demise could not come rapidly enough. Not that the hosts ever said this out loud.

Usually.

(I'm so sorry, Cassie,) she murmured.

Cassie wiped at her eyes. (Thanks, Aftran. Anyway, you'll meet Ronie and the kids tomorrow. We both thought it might be sudden for all of us, today, so he took them camping overnight. Give us a chance to catch up, to acclimate,) she added, pushing past the feelings of grief.

A new thought occurred to Aftran, one that would have made her blush had she been in human form. (Cassie, when you and your husband...)

Aftran knew the very basics of human reproduction, from Cassie's memories. Karen was too young to have been given what parents called "The Talk", but Cassie had allowed Aftran to open all of her memories after her rescue from the Yeerk Pool. Even the ones that were, to the teenage human, very embarrassing. Cassie and Jake had not, at the time, done as much as kissing, but Cassie had spent much of her life on a farm, and her parents had given her "The Talk" when she was young.

Cassie, now about to start her car, turned a very bright shade of red. Not that her Yeerk could see it, but she could certainly feel it.

(I figured you'd leave my head each night before we go to bed. Not that we have sex every night, but...)

(I understand,) Aftran told her. She did. Well, the logic of it. (I'll need water to remain in overnight.)

(Of course,) Cassie agreed. Then, she added, (And, Aftran, I don't want you to open those memories. If you happen to see them...I mean, if I can't help think about them...)

(Of course,) Aftran replied, simply.

There was an awkward silence as they tried to think of a less embarrassing topic. It helped that Cassie was focused on driving.

It also segued into a far less embarrassing question. (Cassie, where do you live?)

(Oh, I finally caved and bought a big house on the beach,) Cassie replied, laughing a little. (Marco was the one who ended up living the big life after the war, but we all did pretty well on the financial end. I spent a lot of the early years working with the nothlits and the Hork-Bajir and the Taxxons, so I didn't care much where I lived. But after Ronie and I got married and we had the twins, we both knew that we needed something with a lot of room. One thing I put my foot down on, at least in the beginning, was a pool. I mean, we have the ocean right there! But the kids and Ronie got their way in the end,) she admitted. (I sold the clinic after my parents died. There were too many memories, there. And their house.)

(Do you use the pool?) Aftran asked, imagining that she already knew the answer.

Another grin. (Probably more than the kids and Ronie. I like to swim laps in the morning and in the evening every day. It's good exercise, and it's calming.)

Karen's parents used to take her to the beach, Aftran recalled. It was one of the perks of living in southern California. Many of the inland states had bodies of water, but Aftran didn't think they could compare to the ocean. Enough people must feel that way, too, because she knew the cost of real estate in California was enormous. Then again, when your host's parents were billionaires, several million must feel like pennies.

Cassie, Aftran imagined, must be worth at least several million, if she could afford a house on the beach with a pool. After everything she had been through, Aftran was happy for her.

And, selfishly, for herself. Because living in Cassie meant that she would experience all of this. In a human body, with a mind who wanted her there. Not confined to the body of a whale which, really, had never entirely felt like home.

(Perhaps, we can go swimming tonight?) Aftran asked, hopefully.

Cassie nodded. (Ronie took the kids camping yesterday. Since today would be when you were likely to come home with me, he thought that we could use the time to catch up. They're supposed to be back tomorrow afternoon. Probably, closer to the evening, if they have any say in it. Especially since it will be Saturday, and with their summer vacation just starting, it's not as though we have anywhere we need to be.)

(If it hadn't worked out...)

Cassie smiled at her. (You know I had my doubts when I saw how you had treated Het. But I remembered that you had been in my head twice since then, and once was before you had founded the Peace Movement. Besides, Aftran, I didn't want to punish you for revealing yourself to me, when you didn't have to.)

Aftran hugged her host again. (There's still so much to catch up on.)

(We have time,) Cassie reminded her, as they walked into the large house on the water.

Another thought occurred to Aftran. (How does feeding work, now?)

(There's a pool about ten minutes away. I also have a portable Kandrona, for when we're away on trips. College students sometimes use them when they study abroad, or when the nearest Yeerk Pool is too far to be convenient,) Cassie replied. (We've made some improvements on them. They last at least a year, if you feed every two and a half days. The Yeerk just sits in a glass of water for a couple of hours, with the Kandrona a few feet away. It's about six inches.) Cassie sent Aftran an image of a small disc, vaguely resembling a hockey puck. (And, of course, they can be recycled.)

Aftran smiled. (I imagine the Pool is quite different now.)

(With the exception of the giant Pool in the middle, yeah,) Cassie agreed. (Want me to show you?)

(Please.)

Cassie sent her an image of a massive room. Just as Aftran recalled from her time with Karen, the pool was in the center, and there were lines of humans waiting for their Yeerks to feed and enter their heads again, but that was where the similarities ended. For one thing, Aftran felt a general sense of happiness in the room. Here were people-it was all humans-who were friends with their Yeerks. There were no guards forcing heads into the pool, dragging screaming people into cages while they waited for their Yeerks to feed. No screaming, no crying, no pleas for help. Just people and Yeerks living together as though it was the most commonplace thing in the world. The room was divided into separate areas for various interests. Some humans were painting. Others were doing crafts projects. There was even a playground area for kids.

The last part struck Aftran.

(Children are voluntary hosts?) she asked.

Cassie shook her head, heading to the kitchen counter after depositing her purse and keys on a side table. (Ten's the youngest we allow, and that's for special circumstances. Like for therapy, from abuse. And only if the kid really wants it, and there are three doctors who have signed off. We have special Yeerks for that-they've been trained for what we call "crisis situations". Otherwise, you need to be at least sixteen. There's been talk of raising the age to eighteen, since that's the legal voting age, but there are enough sixteen year olds who want Yeerks that this would be difficult. No, the kids you saw are ones whose parents need to feed. Or babysitters, sometimes. It's not a bad place to bring kids, and it teaches them a little about Yeerks.)

(What about the children hosts after the war?) Aftran wondered.

(Back then, the age was eighteen to apply for a Yeerk. Children who were voluntary with Peace Movement Yeerks were allowed to remain with them. We also kept about twenty Peace Movement Yeerks for kids and teenagers who needed a Yeerk because of mental or physical damage.)

(Physical damage?) Aftran echoed. She knew all about mental damage, of course, having been the cause of it.

Cassie sat down in the living room. (We had some former Controllers, all humans, had been hosts for so long that they couldn't really use their body after their Yeerk left. Control--it didn't return after a few weeks. Not for anything that wasn't automatic. 99% of the cases were in people who had been infested at age seventeen or earlier.)

Aftran could see images flood Cassie's mind. Kids and teenagers in hospital beds, being nourished by feeding tubes. Able to blink and swallow and breathe on their own, but that was about it. 

(They could still hear us. Still understand everything that was going on. A lot of them, after a few months, developed small amounts of control on their own. Basic communication, able to move their hands. Enough to use keypads that "speak" for them. You know, like Stephen Hawking?)

Cassie sent Aftran an image of him, and Aftran nodded. (And these humans could communicate afterwards?)

(Yes. Most of them wanted a Yeerk. A good one, naturally. They didn't want to spend their days in a hospital, immobile. There was only so much our medical technology could do for them. So, we gave them Peace Movement Yeerks, and for most of them, complete control returned over the next two years. At least half of them chose to remain with their Yeerks afterwards.)

Aftran should have felt happy about this, and she was. To an extent. But how desperate the situation must have been for these people that a Yeerk--who they knew would take what control they had--was their best option.

(I'm glad. What about morphing? Doesn't that repair damage?) 

(You need focus to morph, and they were barely able to move their hands or focus their eyes,) Cassie reminded her. (Morphing would have been out of the question.)

(They're all right, now? And there's no other damage like that to the current hosts?)

Cassie shook her head. (I think two of them still need their Yeerks to this day to function, but the reports the doctors released state that the rest made a full recovery. It certainly helped with popular opinion towards Yeerks. And today, Yeerks share control a lot more than before--it's far more symbiotic--so there haven't been any problems to date about this.)

(I'm glad,) Aftran told her.

Another reason it had been essential to take down the empire. How many more humans would have suffered this fate, had Cassie and her friends not intervened.

(Tell me more about the Yeerk Pool, please,) Aftran requested, the image Cassie had previously sent her still vivid in her mind. (What are the other rooms, beyond the main one?)

(Bathrooms, the quiet area, the gym, and the offices,) Cassie explained. (Oh, and the media room. You know, for people who work 24/7 and need access to computers and wifi.)

(Wifi? Is that some sort of human drug?)

Another laugh. (May as well be. Wireless internet. You know how Marco and Jake had computers with dial up Internet?) Aftran nodded, mentally. (It's a lot faster, now. But you need to be connected to a tower or something...I don't completely understand it, but basically, all Yeerk Pools have it for free. I have it at home, since everyone in my family uses it for work or school or fun, but I have to pay a monthly fee. I mean, technically, it's not free for the Yeerk Symbiont Alliance, but it is for the people who use it every couple of days.)

(Yeerk Symbiont Alliance?) Aftran echoed.

(Basically The Sharing, except it's not a secret. That's where people go to sign up to get Yeerks. Or, until recently, to apply to be placed on the wait list. Like I said, part of the reason for developing a cure for nothlits was that there were way more people who wanted Yeerks than Yeerks who were available,) Cassie explained.

Aftran considered this. (In all likelihood, had the empire not fostered a culture about control and Yeerk superiority, and had simply approached the human race with the benefits of infestation, we could have avoided the war and involuntary infestation.)

(Probably,) Cassie agreed, and Aftran could tell that she'd given this a lot of thought. (But, even with that, you ran the risk of our leaders blasting you out of orbit. As much as we liked to imagine life on other planets, before, there was always this fear that if we came across any, it could mean the end of civilization. Not to mention, it's taken more than thirty years for us to develop a working relationship with you, after forcing you to take on new bodies because we thought your original ones were too threatening.)

This was true, but Aftran knew that the Yeerks had caused most of the damage. Well, the empire, anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

(I'm sorry,) Aftran sighed.

Cassie's confusion showed. (For what?)

(For my role in it,) Aftran explained, voice hardening a little. Breaking. (For not fighting back sooner. For getting caught. There's really no end to it.)

Cassie shrugged, shifting her weight so she was laying on her side on the couch. (You did a lot more than most, Aftran. You would have died for us, too.)

Aftran managed a laugh. (Mostly the result of being in your head, Cassie,) she teased.

(Anyway, it's over, now. The empire, I mean. It's better. We have peace with Yeerks-enough that we're actually reaching out to the Yeerk nothlits and allowing them a chance to get their bodies back, and the possibility of infesting humans. I honestly never thought that would happen. I believed that the best thing we could do was give Yeerks new bodies, so they wouldn't have to take over someone's freedom in order to experience the types of senses that we take for granted. I didn't realize-none of us did-that there were many humans who had a very happy partnership with their Yeerks, and that the idea of the Yeerk body itself as a problem was-) Cassie's voice trailed off.

(Contrary to their nature? Their biology?) Aftran asked, thoughtfully.

(Yeah. Something like that,) Cassie agreed, nodding her head.

Aftran was quiet for a minute. (I suppose that your personal experience with individual Yeerks was limited. Illim, and myself. I made it clear that I hated my body, but I realized after freeing Karen that this was just empire propaganda. Listening to the tales from the Yeerks who were born on the home world, a host was something to be treasured, but those Yeerks who lived their lives without one didn't view themselves as deprived or lowly creatures. It's true that I missed Karen's senses when I left her body, but life in the pool wasn't the prison I had anticipated. We have senses as Yeerks, and methods of communication that are, in some ways, more advanced and intimate than when we communicate via our hosts.)

(You would have been happy to stay a Yeerk for your whole life, without a host?) Cassie queried. (Even over being a whale?)

Aftran considered this. (When you allowed me back into your head after saving me, I remembered what I had gone without for nearly a year. But I knew that it would be too dangerous, then, to stay in your head.)

(You didn't answer my question,) Cassie chided.

Aftran laughed, gently. (I accepted that I would spend the rest of my days without a host when I freed Karen. But I would have welcomed sharing control with a willing host-preferably not a Taxxon, though-if some sort of compromise could be made. If the empire fell.)

Cassie seemed satisfied with that answer. (Sharing control,) she mused. (How does that work? Isn't it just either the host or the Yeerk who can use the body at one time?)

(That's what I was taught,) Aftran admitted, (but there are Yeerks who discovered how to utilize their host's body without preventing the host from accessing their senses.)

(You mean,) Cassie asked, and Aftran could feel the excitement in her voice, (you could be moving my body, but I could still have control at the same time?)

(I believe so,) Aftran responded, cautiously. (I've never done it. Whenever I gave Karen control, at the end, I did so by disconnecting from her mind. Not entirely, of course. I was still connected enough to feel her emotions and her senses. To--to be able to intervene if I needed to do so. But I was not connected in that I could, in that state, operate any of her body.)

Cassie sat up from her relaxed position. (Which is how you are now. Connected to my senses, but disconnected to accessing them. Because I'm in control now, obviously.)

(Yes,) Aftran confirmed.

(Then, there's a middle ground,) Cassie guessed. (Where we are, literally, sharing my body.)

(Yes,) Aftran repeated. (But, as I said, I've never attempted it.)

(Could you? Now?)

(Well, yes, I could,) Aftran told her, feeling a mix of hesitance and excitement. (But, Cassie, if it doesn't work, immediately or otherwise, you may feel...powerless. Trapped.)

Cassie nodded, wincing a little at the idea. (Right. Okay. Still, you know how to disconnect if you can't-share control?)

(Of course,) Aftran replied, sending her host a mental smile.

(Okay. Then, let's do it,) Cassie told her.

It would, Aftran mused, have been more accurate for her host to say "Do it", but she knew that Cassie was "summoning" Rachel, figuratively speaking, and made no comment.

Instead, she simply felt her way around, stretched out her body around Cassie's brain the way she had been taught so many year ago, pressing down on the areas that would allow her to access the motor functions. But, somehow, Aftran knew to keep her palp "touch" on these areas light. To access them, yes, so that she could utilize her host's body. But not, contrary to everything she had been taught, to prevent her host from doing the same.

Once done--it had taken a few seconds, longer than taking full control would have taken--she stood up and took a few steps in an arbitrary direction.

(Cassie? Do you think you can move?) she asked.

(I--I think so,) Cassie replied, tone uncertain. (Keep walking, Aftran.)

Aftran obeyed, and, immediately, she felt Cassie push back, both on her mind and her body. It didn't hurt--of course--but Aftran was aware of her host's...what was it, exactly? Power? But before Aftran had time to come up with the appropriate word, she felt her host's body changed directions under Cassie's direction.

It wasn't the same as a successful host rebellion, Aftran knew. Not that she had ever experienced one in any of her hosts, but she'd been taught about them enough to know what to expect.

No, this was more like two minds were competing--except, it wasn't really a competition--over use of the same body. 

(Wow!) Cassie laughed, still walking around the room. (We're literally sharing a body!)

Aftran felt a sense of guilt at having thought of Cassie's actions as "competition". Her host was right--it was far more like sharing a body.

Perhaps, she mused, she'd been out of a host for too long. Had she been able to remain a Yeerk, alongside the other Yeerks of the Peace Movement, this knowledge and thought process would have come to her naturally. Over time.

(It would seem so,) Aftran mused.

She took a few steps in the opposite direction, once again, without overriding Cassie's control. Simply attempting to word alongside it. 

(Well, we know we can walk,) Cassie teased, and planted her feet firmly on the ground. (Should we try something else?)

(Perhaps something basic, like your eyes,) Aftran suggested.

(Our eyes,) Cassie corrected. (Yeah, okay.)

Aftran focused them towards the window, watching the trees outside. The birds.

Cassie, without moving her head, turned their focus to the sky. It was not a cloudless day, but Cassie did not think it would rain that afternoon.

They continued like this with various other body parts for at least a half an hour. By the end, both felt tired and dizzy by the experience.

Cassie sat down on the couch again.

(Okay. I can see that this is going to take some getting used to,) she admitted.

(No kidding,) Aftran said, placing a hand to Cassie's temple.

(Do you think it gets easier with practice?) Cassie asked.

Aftran shrugged, internally, having disconnected from the control centers of Cassie's brain.

(It's possible,) she allowed. (I think it would be difficult to exist this way for every waking hour of every day, though. Perhaps, I should limit this to certain occasions. Like, with my fellow Yeerks. Giving you time to agree, of course.)

Cassie shrugged back. (Maybe. Keep in mind, though, that we kind of just spent the last half hour fighting for control. Maybe, if you're in control, even if you're technically sharing my body, I should just-sit back,) Cassie offered.

Aftran considered this. (Perhaps. As it is, I you need to be in control most of the time. Perhaps,) Aftran continued, speaking as she thought these words, (for a small amount of time each day, I could use your body, without preventing you from using it? I mean,) she added, (it's not like I will need to use it to communicate with my fellow Yeerks for most of the time. Right?)

Cassie chewed on her lip, thinking about this. (I guess. Of course, when we are with them, they might want you to be in the public, at least in the beginning. You're sort of a hero, Aftran.)

Aftran smiled inwardly. (Still, Cassie, that's hardly a daily occurrence.)

(No,) Cassie allowed. (But it is probably a weekly one.)

She stretched. (I'm starving. You want to have dinner?)

Aftran smiled inwardly, having been aware of Cassie's hunger for the past ten minutes. (As long as it's not fish.)

(Yeah, you've probably had enough of that for a lifetime!) Cassie grinned. (I was craving pizza. We ordered some last night, and there's a few pieces left.)

The mental image was enough to make Aftran salivate. (Sounds delicious.)

(And then, afterwards, maybe swim in the pool?) Cassie sent her another image of the large pool outside their house.

(I'd like that,) Aftran agreed. (Thank you, Cassie.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite intending for this to only be a couple of chapters long, my characters have forced me to expand it considerably. Still, while I think we're nearing the end, there are a few more events that need to take place.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: If you are wondering why this requirement did not apply to Lertam, since he was not in the Peace Movement during the war, there are a few possibilities. The first is that he was the first to receive the cure, so while it was safe, he was essentially a test subject. The second is that his host during the war wanted to be his host, and not taking a new host made him "exempt" from the requirement. The third is that the regulation passed after the first group of nothlits were given the morphing power and wanted hosts--not just to live as Yeerks. 
> 
> Please take a few minutes to leave feedback, or kudos, and make this writer very happy!


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